To make some contrast with my post from this morning, after an hour and a half from euphorie creation, I’d like to post a link to a documentary (in Swedish) about an artist, Jenny Wilson, who tells us about her trip trough breast cancer. You can not know how you will react if you get this kind of hard diagnostic. Both her and her mother did have breast cancer. My mum had it too and too much people (young) around me have this kind of sword of Damocles above the head. Jennys way to talk about it is an exampel of revange. Revange from life and its sometimes bad luck, a proo that no matter how bad is your situation, you always have a choice.
I don’t want to sound too moral or besserwisser but I exactly know how I react in this kind of pressed situation, when something stronger than you reach you and I wish everyone had a vision about what ones life is all about. There is not an unique answer, that is true to everyone. In my opinion, it is more that everyone has it in oneself and if you let it flow without making something of it, you are wasting your chances. Whatever you do, just do it. Don’t spend too much time to make things that you don’t really wish to do. Ok, you need to make laundry, to wash the dishes and so on, but make something you like everyday. Please.
If I had to make a list today about things that I think are meaningfull to me, it would be this:
– I woke up by M’s side. This had no price to feel him breathe the first thing I feel.
– I ate my own bread for breakfast while I was playing Candy Crush. This may be totally useless but I like to think of nothing special when I am waking up.
– I ran. I was so happy that my pulse was so low, that is was not raining, that my legs were hurting a little but it was a good sign of me, running longer and a little better every time
– I studied the whole afternoon and this is a kind of investment for myself. An intellectuel investment. I am not really sure for what, but it feels good. This is also a way for me to tell me that during the fall and the winter I am making something serious and during the spring and the summer, I will only have fun. For every hour I spend reading serious things, I am having an idea of funny thing I will do later. And I won’t wait too long. End of January, I begin.
– I cooked a good meal and we ate. Miam. It looked good. This is important to me that my meals look good.
M is working still, I hope not too long. I am satisfied with my day, with my week end, with my life it seems. I feel strong and this is good, because you never know what could happen, but instead of living in fear, I like to think that if something bad would happen, I am ready. At least more ready as if I would spend my current life being afraid of everything. Because when the judgement comes, I don’t want to tell myself “think if you’d had the time to make this and this and this”. I want to make it before and feel in peace with myself.
You get a song from Jenny Wilson, since I like her music as well and this will maybe make this post a little happier. But don’t missunderstand me: I am very happy!
She made a new album, available now “Demand the impossible!”. Give it a listening!