Category: Thinking

My brain is often active, here are the products of some reflexions.

To find a path

When more than the half of 2021 has gone, it’s not easy for me to accept that the winter is on its way and I didn’t get the sun I needed for this year yet. I miss the laughters of a funny story, I miss the new insights of a rich discussion, I miss the warmth of a thankful hug. I mean, I’ve got the ones of my two favourite people, every day. But I do miss the time being with my friends.

So, should I just let it pass?

No, of course not! It’s time to fight against boredom. It’s time to search after the young girl in me, the one who did not have a day without a laugh. When did it fade? Why?

It’s not why, it’s how the matter.

Action. Let’s rock this fall and winter. Find you joy, yeah, find it. Grab it. Pull it from its cave. And let it explode! Joy is like champagne. Make it sparkle, you will shine!

Credit to my daughter, Z, for this happy monster!
by leiaot

Spring

Printemps

Voici donc les longs jours, lumière, amour, délire !
Voici le printemps ! mars, avril au doux sourire,
Mai fleuri, juin brûlant, tous les beaux mois amis !
Les peupliers, au bord des fleuves endormis,
Se courbent mollement comme de grandes palmes ;
L’oiseau palpite au fond des bois tièdes et calmes ;
Il semble que tout rit, et que les arbres verts
Sont joyeux d’être ensemble et se disent des vers.
Le jour naît couronné d’une aube fraîche et tendre ;
Le soir est plein d’amour ; la nuit, on croit entendre,
A travers l’ombre immense et sous le ciel béni,
Quelque chose d’heureux chanter dans l’infini.

Victor Hugo, Toute la lyre

by leiaot

Åh Uppsala

Living here since more than 5 years now, I force myself to look at the castle and the cathedrale every day. I try to get this city under my skin, to belong here somehow. This morning, I took a walk in the city and made some pictures. It hadn’t happened since a long time ago, and somehow, even if this signs are not very beautiful, they are wearing the mark of this year. Covid, resiliancy. The big lady is missing her hats, but she will recover. As we will. It just takes time and is painfull in between, but we will make it. The new version of me will be more patient I guess. I was often longing for time to create. Now, I have it: no travel what so ever makes a lots of hours free. The family is also one thing I wanted to give more time to. Now, I can, every day. Work is something I almost always put in first. Work got into my home and I need strong strategies to let them be off during the off times. Not always easy.

I hope you are safe, wherever you are. In your body, free from Covid or other disease. In your ming, free from bad relationships or work when it’s not time to.

by leiaot

Best neighbors

Long time no see. Life is going on, with this still Covid situation. We stay home, together but meet no one. It is pretty hard not to be social and we also need to renew our discussions home. Pretty often, we come back to the same themes, with the same opinion. How I miss the debates during dinner with friends!

The other day, I met a neighbor by the bicycle parking and she was going to buy flowers. I asked her where she goes, since I haven’t found a place for that yet and she told me about one flower shop, that made registration as well, meaning you get flowers at regular intervals. I went to the shop, ordered and yesterday, I got to pick up my first flowers. I thought of my neighbor and bought her some flowers as well as thank you.

I rang at her door, around noon and after a little time, she opened, with kind of s worried face. I face her the flowers and she shined! So wonderful to see. I went back home directly and felt happy to have seen her smile.

Later on Facebook, I saw this post below. I am the “best neighbor” and felt once more uplifted by the message. And I got an SMS this morning as well. To read the answers on the Facebook post plus all the rest makes me think that sometimes, I make good around me.

Have s nice weekend!

by leiaot

Strange summer

We still have our jobs and our health but this summer, we stayed at home the whole 5 weeks of vacation. (I worked one week in the middle).

We have been discovering the city, sleeping, running, eating (a lots of time at the restaurant…), And gardening. Our balcony has been my heaven, I love to spend time there and look at the plants. In a very little scale, we had radishes, carrots, wild strawberries, potatoes. We have seen our 3 apples getting bigger and now the broccolis, tomatoes and cucumbers are in the making. I have been pretty worried for the pollinisation of the cucumbers. We have one solitary bumblebee coming every morning but the flowers are living only one day, so I was afraid that he misses his job.

But I saw him at work this morning and this made me happy. Maybe we will have one cucumber after all!

Time for work tomorrow, let’s see if I can still eat my breakfast on the balcony then…

by leiaot

L’encre de tes yeux

Oh, so long time ago I was listening to this song. Venice seemed unreachable. For fact, I was never there but I moved much farther than this town.

So tonight, I wonder if Francis is for real still thinking of this girl he talked about. as a teenager, I listened to this song thousands of times, wishing for my “prince” 1) to see more and 2) to tell me all these romantics words. For real Francis, are you still even thinking of this girl? Do you even remember her name? What did she do that was so unbelievable? No, i don’t mean how she looked like, I mean, what she did.

When the next song on the playlist goes on, I get even more sentimental. Samedi soir sur la terre. How many times did I and my friends listen to it, trying to picture the role perfectly and above all, play it perfectly, at this bad disco, le sirocco. How many girls went home disappointed (or raped)? What was the limit between the will to fit in a do g everyone was listening to and one’s real needs to explore love and life? This text is resuming the whole well: it’s only a normal Saturday night.

To everyone out there wondering if you should fit in any model: be yourself, say yes and no as you wish and be strong. Life’s not easy and no one will ever be ready for your negative.

by leiaot

Blue

This spring has been very special for many of us all around the world. We have been working from home, Z was able to go to preschool, we haven’t met anyone indoors and the outdoors meetings have been few and with few people. Luckily, we don’t have any people in our relationships who has been sick but it is very uncertain when -if ever- life will be as before the 12th of march.

To comfort myself, I’ve been transforming our balcony into a garden. We don’t have much place to sit but it’s so green and full of slow life that my heart gets all filled with love when I close the window at night. I really miss the contact with Earth, plants, animals. It’s just to admit that we are not soon to be in this phase in our life. Neither money nor time.

We’ll stay in Uppsala the whole summer this year. We began a list with all the things we want to try here and it’s actually exciting. Very sad not to meet anyone of course but to be s tourist in our own town is funny.

This is also the first time since I can remember that I’m not living the place where I live for some vacation. This is s huge privilege. It’s mentally special to escape the place you choose to live every year. The weirdest is maybe to panic because you may not leave the place you choose to live for a week a year. We’ll stay. It’s up to us to be creative and make the best of it.

by leiaot

Corona

This is unbelievable. Some months ago, when we heard about this virus in China, it seemed so far away. When it came to Italy, it became closer. When we had to cancel the visit of my parents two weeks ago, it felt very very near. When Sweden is one of the few European countries letting people move as they want, it seems unreal. I’m listening the French news every day and the Swedish as well. So much space between the messages to the population.

No one knows where it’s going to end. I just know that a week at home last week was unpleasant. Let us survive this. Let us go through this with most of our loved ones surviving this.

Enjoy this drawing, made by Z, 3 years old. Get inspired by the colours and take your responsibilities: avoid contact to other people.

by leiaot

The circle is closed

Here I was today: on a street on Lund, where I was learning Swedish in a building on the right side 2005 and I was visiting some of my employees in the building on the left side today.I took a long walk this morning before I went to the office and I felt happy but also a lot of nostalgia for this time spent in a wonderful family this year in this town.Now, life is different, exciting as well, but different.

by leiaot

Lunch

I am here, sitting at my table kitchen at home and drinking a cup of tea after my lunch. It takes me 10 min to walk home. It’s quiet here and I got chocolate as dessert. Why don’t I do it more often?

Time for thoughts is what I lack the most. This lunch at home, in the middle of an hectic day, offered me 20 minutes of me-time. And silence at the table.

I love my colleagues, my work, all the power there is at work but when I grow older, I also need more space for myself.

Like the rolling stones would sing:

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.

I’m here now, alive and in peace. The sun shines, is warm but already too lazy to get up in the sky as one month ago. We’re going toward darker times, irremediably. And to survive, I need to keep my inner peace. I need to be a good leader for others around and this will go through trying to get what I need, it won’t come by itself.

by leiaot