From that to that?

Oh I had trouble this morning: I woke up right after 4 in the morning and told myself: “you can stay one hour more in bed, that’s fine. Then out and run!” but when it was 5, I pulled the hour to later and finally, I got up at 7, jumped over the running and took a really long time to eat breakfast and so, so I was right late at work, compared to my normal time. Well. Bad consciousness you hear it. But Sunday I’ll run a long pass, promised! I got the last Rosling and Hellströms book by the mail today, it is perfect for the train tonight! I wish you a good week End everyone!

Really exciting lecture, I recommend these authors ( how do you do to write a book with another people?). I dunno which one I will pick up for tonight but it doesn’t matter, both will be read. Tomorrow, time to run an efficient pass. Enough with lazy days! Oh btw , I got invited to the city hall on the Swedish national day (6 th of June) since I became a Swedish citizen last autumn. Exciting!

I already posted a picture that looked like that once. Same book, new try. I am very tired tonight though, must be Monday effect. Tomorrow, running before work on the planning, let’s see how good I will be :)

Oh what a week! This is enjoyable but a lots of things happen. I love my new jobb and i am looking forward to the things that come, even if i will test a lot of train and nights in hotels. For the moment, i am enjoying some peace in my cathedral: the library.

Oh yes, even 8 days of vacation this summer will make it. The day number one was rainy. So rainy that i met a friend on my way to the station:

Yes, it was raining too much in Liköping, so i took my way south to meet a friend and the sun. Double date like. Me liked. It took the train first and then had to take a bus in Alvesta. When i found my place in the train, i also understood why the ticket was so cheap. It was like renting a cabin with view over the sea, well, from the WC window.

Alvesta is not a big city and when the bus is delayed, you think a little lonely there, sitting, waiting, wishing. I had no worry though, busy with listening to a documentary and watching people around. Amond them, it was a beautiful girl who must have been 20 years old. Beaufitul face, with nice pale eyes and an enormous ear piercing. How was she thinking when she did it? Well, i don’t understand, even if i have tatoos myself. (same kind of stuff you was not born to and which is permanent then).

I finally arrived in Ljungby, with the sun and spent a very nice evening with my friend M. Vacation day number 2 was spent with Karl Ove part 2 and the evening was likely pleasant as the previous one. The bonus with people i know since a long time is that i don’t need to be anyone else and myself. This was relaxing after these almost 2 months of trying to fit in a new environment. I like my life so far in Linköping but there is so much new meetings that i am holding myself a little (better be quiet and look stupid than to talk and don’t let any doubt about the fact that you ARE stupid) and somehow, this is oppressing me. With you M, i am really myself and i thank you deeply for the nice hours in your company.

I said good bye to my friend after a fantastic breakfast this morning and took the bus and then the train to come back to Linköping. Vacation day 3 is not finished yet, after a little nap, i will meet my friend U and drink prolly some belgian beers. Tomorrow a friend arrive for some days, it will be fun fun! Oh yeah, it is all about enjoying every minute of these 8 days!

I finally finished to read the first of 6 volumes of the autobiographie from Karl Over Knausgård. This was not an easy reading but i found it beautifully written. Karl Ove goes from his chilhood, teanager time in Norway, with the first flirts and love and tells about his relation with his father in the second half. The dad is dead and a lots of emotions come up to Karl Ove.

 Tystnad.

– Ja, ja. Jag måste nog hem nu, tror jag. Tack för ivkäll då! ja jag.

– Ses i morgon, sa hon. Ha det bra!

Jag vände mig om efter henne, för att se ifall hon vände sig om, men det gjorde hon inte.

  Jag älskade henne. Det var ingenting mellan oss, hon ville inte vara ihop med mig, men jag älskade henne. Jag tänkte inte på nåt annat. Till och med när jag spelade fotboll, den enda zon där jag var fullständigt förskonad från tankar, där allt handlade om att vara närvarande med kroppen, till och med där trängde hon sig in. Nu skulle Hanne varit här och sett mig, tänkte jag, det skulle ha gjort henne förvånad. Varje gång något bra hände mig, varje gång jag satte en snabb replik och belönades med skratt, tänkte jag: Det skulle Hanne ha hört. Vår katt mefisto skulle hon ha sett.

Vårt hus, atmosfären i det. Mamma, henne skulle hon ha slagit sig ner och pratat med. Älven utanför, den skulle hon ha sett. Och mina skivor! Dem skulle hon ha lyssnat på, varenda en. Men vår vänskap utvecklades inte åt det hållet, det var inte hon som ville komma in i min värld, det var jag som ville komma in i hennes. Då och då tänkte jag att det aldrig skulle kunna inträffa, då och då tänkte jag att det visst kunde komma en omsvängning som förändrade allt. Hela tiden såg jag henne, inte granskande eller utforskande, det var inte vad det handlade om, nej, en skymt här, en skymt där, det räckte. Hoppet fanns där tll nästa gång jag skulle se henne.

 […]

 Kunde jag få göra det med henne? Kunde jag få henne till det? Kunde jag få någon till det? Nej. För Hanne var och förblev ingen. För mig var hon allt.

 […]

 – Något bra verkar det som? sa mamma och log.

– Ja, sa jag. Jag är kär, kort och gott.

– Så härligt. Är det någon jag vet vem det är?

– Vem skulle det kunna vara som du känner? Nej, det är en i klassen. Just det är kanske lite dumt i och för sig men nu är det så. Det går ju inte direkt att planera.

– Nej, sa hon. Vad heter hon då?

– Hanne, sa jag.

– Hanne, sa hon och såg på mig med ett litet leende. När får jag träffa henne?

– Det är det som är problemet. Vi är inte ihop. Hon är ihop med en annan kille.

– Så det är inte så enkelt.

– Nej.

Hon suckade.

– Nej, det är inte alltid det. Men du ser pigg ut. Du ser glad ut.

– Jag har aldrig varit så glad. Aldrig.

Av någon sinnessjuk anledning fick jag tårar i ögonen när jag sa det. Inte bara så att jag blev blank i ögonen, något som lätt hände rädd vad det var när jag sa något som rörde mig själv, nej, tårarna rann nerför kinderna på mig.

Jag log.

– Det är faktiskt glädjetårar, sa jag. Och så snyftade jag. Till slut rann tårarna så att jag måste vända mig bort. Som tur var kokade vattnet upp då, jag kunde lyfta pannan av spisen och hälla i kaffe, trycka på locket igen dunka den mot platta några gånger, ta fram två koppar. När jag ställde dem på bordet var det bra igen.

Time for me to begin the second part, the blue one.

As i planned this morning, i was not activ today and this was/still is wonderfull. I am alternatively listening to the rain and reading and it feels good.

I lighted a lots of candles in the living room and this is looking mysigt. I just wish i had someone to share this with, but i will cook me a nice dinner anyways.

After an quiet evening by myself, i offered my little self an almost 12 hours night and i feel good now. The past week has been full with nice meetings with people and i really needed some time for me alone.

I spent the reading the book igot from my father for my bday: “Le complexe de Dieu” which is a comic about god going to the psychologist. I laughed a lot during the reading and sometimes i felt a bit like the god in the book.

The preface is nice too:

“Je viens de rompre avec Dieu. Je ne l´aime plus. En amour, on est toujours deux. Un qui s´emmerde et un qui est malheureux. Depuis quelque temps, Dieu semblait très malheureux. Alors j´ai rompu”.

Chronique de la haine ordinaire, Pierre Desproges.

This is funny that with God. I decided to break up with him for 13 years ago. Not that i ever was very religious, but at this point, there was only two ways: he doesn’t exist or he is a sadist. I did not change my mind since then and still refuse a lot of things going around this. Well. Not the moment to write an article about religion this is only saturday morning for now ;)

I also read another book i got for my bday yesterday and it was “Mao et moi”. My dad has humor even if he has the same name as me ahah the drawings were really good and the story was one of a kid growing up in the cultural revolution in China. Well.I have some difficulties to project me in this area of the world, may it be now or for 30 years ago, so i have no comment on the book itself.

I have a big mission for this week end: i need to reply to everyone who sent bday cards to me. And they are quite a lot, so it will take my evening. The sun is also shining so hard on the fresh fallen snow, that it will also be the occasion to take a walk with my camera. To immortalize Eskilstuna’s beauty in winter. Or kind of. More that noone will care of my pictures than Eskilstuna’s beauty. Eskilstuna is actually fine in a lots of places, they put some energy to make it welcoming, so i will surely take a round in Munktell and so. We will see.

oho, just got a nice phonecall, life is cool with friends who care

First of all, i will try to sell my mountain bike in about 45 min. I hope the guy will buy it, a wonderfull mountain bike that had like 30 km ride in 4 years and always slept indoors and so. I have just been too lazy to ride. I have some kind of fears of bicycles since i broke my jawbone when i was little in a bicyle accident. I do prefer my motorbike. BTW, i received some nice post with “will you try the new BMW” and a new MC magazine, too bad it snowed yesterday because i would have been ready to freeze all my fingers and toes to take the first ride of the year.

There is another thing i also wonder if i will do it and this is the finish of my living room and hall painting from last year. When i was halv finished last year, i thought “will do it next week end” and it seems like “next week end” never came. Maybe it is time now, before that the MC season begins for real.

OK, for now i have to find back all the keys from the lockers i want to give away with the bike and meet this guy. Have a nice week end people around the world! I hope the sun will shine as strong for you as it does for me!

I just finished to read this book “no angel” about the true story of an undercover police who became a hells angels. It was actually pretty good written almost like a fiction, but at the bottom, the whole thing is a true story.

This is the film that Eskilstunas filmstudio showed last thursday. It was super funny and the history is really cool too. I loved Roal Dahl as a kid and this is actually a book i have at home and read to kids that come and visit. Ok, it doesn’t happen so often, but i did read it to 2 lovely kids in summer 2077.

And the link to the film: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0432283/

For the swedish readers that haven’t already done it: read this book:

Even if the nazi and the barber was really funny (it doesn’t sound like that, but yes, it is a funny book, black humor,
lotss of), this one was a way much better. Every sentence had something. Really entertaining! But so far i think this is only published in swedish.

and i gave away half of my staruday sleeping… I needed it after a week fool/full of work.

Yesterday was a funny day though, when i went around at the office wearing my France tee shirt, and screaming at everyone willing to hear me that France would beat Sweden at handboll during the evening. That’s what we did (yeah, i am french, i think i always will be, even if we loose on sunday). I went in a sportbar with some friends to watch the game and i can tell.

I need to take a long run this week end and i wonder if i shouldn’t have done it today. It was some plus degrees and i am a little afraid that it will freeze during the night and be ice tomorrow morning. I can’t jump over a long pass now. In 35 days, i will have to survive. I really need to take long passes until then…

I was not very disciplined yesterday evening and sent like 6 sms after 21. But it was cultural. I learnt about a guy called Tegner, who was almost born 200 years before me and lived 90 years… Not bad at this time… But he also described Swedish as the langage of the honnor and the heroes. I think he may also have tested my 3B theory to learn langage and got a typical “no” from a girl in Danmark because he seemed to not like danish. aahaha

Today, i went into town and drank a white chocolate with a friend. Don’t think that i just want to tell everything of my life, but this with white chocolate is a little special. There is a place in Stockholm, in gamla stan, where you can drink mervellous good white chocolate. A tips is to order a little one because i personally get disgusted after some dips. But anyway, we went to a coffee today, where there also was some white chocolate. I ordered one and got all dissapointed when i saw that they take some mixture from a bottle and then some warm milk and it’s done. I wnated to hope that there was some secret behind the white chocolate… It was anyway cool to talk even if we got into one subject that made me a little sad. To confort me, i went to a bookshop and bought me reading for tonight. I just feel like i would like to move into the woods tonight and just eat something good, drink a good glas of wine, watch some nice fire and go to bed with someone taking me in his arms strongly.

Instead of that, it will be alcoholfree evening, some good food too though and some readings and a lot of sleep. I don’t feel for anything today. Not even saving my palmer, dying since 2 months.

Have a nice evening people, and keep on reading on it, it motivates me to write.

if you like black humour and crazy stories, then, read this one:

Pour encourager quelqu´un à continuer ses efforts, à poursuivre l´action en cours, sans se laisser distraire par son objectif.

“met du charbon et t´occupe pas des signaux” tel est en quelque sorte le message transmit par Bercy aux dirigeants de gaz de France. Dans l´attente du décision de Matignon, plus vraisemblable de jour en jour, de reporter l´ouverture du capital après le referendum, Bercy et Gaz de France font comme si de rien n´était. Les Echos, 5 avril 2005p26

loc. phrast. pour exprimer qu´une situaion n´est pas aussi agréable qu´on pourrait le penser. Par euhpémisme.

il faut dire, il a le chic pour dégotter le plus trash et sordide de son environnement (exécutions, meurtres, naufrages, mises à mort, guerre civile, aliénés…). Vous l´aurez compris, une expo Géricault, c´est pas la fête à la saucisse.

http://racines.canalblog.com/archives/2006/07/31/2388271.html

he made the most beautiful artpieces tha ti have seen today at the art museum of Eskilstuna. I also discovered that he is writing a very interesting blogg, if you are interested:

http://olleqvennerstedt.blogspot.com/

i just finished this book from Ebba Lindsö. She is a swedish woman who was chief for the confederation of swedish entreprise and got to deal with some troubles at this post. The book was very well written and i recommand it to every young woman willing to get high in some company hierarchy.

this is the last book i read. A story of a boy, moving out and falling in love in the 70’s. Nice book, well written.

it is the last book i read. And i was pretty dissapointed actually. Not by what it tells but by the message: the author explains everything about suicide, how she feels and different theories and philosphies and stuff. In the book, she writes that she wants to die, describe how she will do it and it ends with kind of “this is my man who will publish it because i just sent him a mail with all the text and stuff” and when i looked in wikipedia afterwards, she is still alive. Well, i don’t believe a word about what she told then, but pretty dissapointing when she takes so much time to say that she does everything she says.

In these snowy times, it was pretty appropriate to finish to read the book “kokain” that i had on my nighttable since haöf a year or something. It was a good documentary about the produktion, dealing and using of cocain aroudn the world nowadays and back in the time. It is actually pretty scary to see that it is everywhere and that it IS dangerous. Well, instructive on every point.

I just finished the chalk circle man and was not very impressed. I don’t know why but i find crime novels boring since a couple of years. After the 50 first pages, i knew who killed, so that is kind of boring. Plus there is always this kind of romance between the policeman and some lady and yeah, i get bored with this kind of basic stories.