5 weeks

Warning for a baby post…

Life is so different now, you guessed it, didn’t you? We are lucky to have a little girl who sleeps at night (well, she wakes up sometimes at 2 or 3 to get some food, but so far *touches wood*, she gets to sleep around 22 and wakes up at 5 or 6 for food. This gives me pretty good nights of sleep. This means as well that she is pretty awake during the days. And this means in its turn that I don’t have much time for me during the days. I feed her, change her, entertain her and look at her so much I can.

About the food: it’s funny to look at her when she gets her bottle. It looks like she did not eat for ages. She has a very strict rutin for her burps, that she makes with a little booty dance on our shoulder. When she is done, she usually puts her head on the side and it is really lovely to breathe in her neck and feel her little baby hair. Pretty often, she smiles as well, I can tell you, I now know how satisfaction looks like! The funny part is that she only drinks milk for now. I am curious to see if she will enjoy “real food” as much later. Some months left for this!

About the poo-part: well, nothing to declare. Just that the bathroom is her favorite room all categories. Every time we get in there, she smiles. According to the fact that it’s the room M and I put the less energy to design, we maybe should have saved some money on the other rooms…

About the entertainment: she is now much more aware of what is going on around. When she is awake, she wants to be with us. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention, but she wants to be in the center of attention. Big difference!Every time we are in social situations, she is fully awake, has her eyes wide open and observs everything. When we come back home later, she “talks” about it the whole evening. Because yes, she discovered that she can use her voice for other than cry. Which is funny: we have “discussions” but even a new area: she tells us when she is not happy and shows us a big determination (I wonder where she got that from…)

About the looking part: everyone told us that this time gets quickly. This is true, she looks pretty “grown up” in comparison to how she looked 5 weeks ago. We already archived some clothes, which became too little. That this time gets too fast, hu, I’m not sure if I like it of dislike it. It’s better now, but the first three weeks were aweful. Difficult to explain why exactly, more than the fact that she was unsatisfied, but I did suffer mentally. Physically, except for the tiredness and the breast feeding part, it was pretty ok, my body came back to “normal” pretty quick and without much pain.

About my body, I decided that I needed a goal for my training. I really need to train seriously the parts that have been changed during the pregnancy and I find it hard to motivate myself. But now I found: when Z will turn 1 year old I want to be able again to run 10 km under 50 minutes. I don’t have to hurry but I cannot just postpone every training. This morning, I took a walk with the trolley and the goal was to leave a survey we had to fill in for the IVF-hospital after the birth of the child. It was very funny to show the result of their work last spring. I met some of the doctors and nurses who helped us last year and they were very happy to see her. To go to the reception, I had to walk by the waiting room. I had a lots of thoughts going through my head when I walked by. We were there a lots of time last year, with a lots of feelings and fears, which were different every time and I feel really thankful that it worked pretty well for us. I saw some couples waiting for their meeting and felt how hard it could be to see a new born when you don’t know yourself if you one day will be able to get what you want the most. I hope I did not hurt anyone. Maybe I will write about IVF and this chapter in our lifes one day on here, not sure how and when. If I received a lots of comments from people “who know but don’t know” when I was pregnant, it was nothing in comparison withe the one we got as “a stable couple in our 30’s with jobs, appartment and everything but without kid”. And these are much more painful. Ignorance is a threat. In any matter.

I don’t find any good picture to illustrate this post, sorry!

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