To turn page

This is the second week for Z at the preschool and we noticed, both she and I, that life is going back to normal for the rest of the world. There was so much more kids at school, older kids that are used to go there and she was all lost in the garden. Today was also the day I would leave her for the first time for the whole day (a shorter one compared to the coming mormal ones) and this good bye did not happen as I wished. She was a bit lost and she missunderstood what I said, so she turned back and saw me far away waving good bye and going while a teacher was taking her hand. I don’t know if she cried, I just walked away without  watching. I had to cry a little myself on my way back home. She is only and already 19 months. Only and already at the same time. She liked school very much this spring and this is just hard to see her a little lost in this new environment. She seems so little as well in comparison to bigger kids. But she is also curious and I know she will like most of the things she will discover there.

We also began to sell out  and give away the baby things. We only live in an appartment so we cannot keep everything. Plus Z will never use her baby chair anymore. So it’s better for the things before they got all old to get reused by someone who need them more than we do. But it’s also a page to turn as well. The babytime is at its end in our family. Somehow, even if it’s taboo to say it, I did not enjoy this very first time that much, I find it much more interesting when the baby get to interact more and more, so I should be happy. On the other hand, it’s also to admit and accept that our famil is complete. And it’s fine as it i. I just can’t explain this sorrow.

Well, better to heal two sorrows at once and we do it now! I’ll do it by doing creative things during the almost 4 hours I have on my own today.

Good luck to the parents getting their kids for the first time at preschool this summer. It will be better in some days/weeks/months!

mandala

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