9 days being a mother 

Today, it has been 9 days since our daughter came to the world. These 9 days have been really different from all what I’ve known before. I’ve killed some of my previous ideas about being a parent but others have grown stronger.

Sleep. Sometimes the nights are long (relatively)  and last 5 hours in a row, with a calm falling asleep period. And other times M and I relay each other to calm this half meter of life who is crying without interruption. You never know how it will be, we didn’t break the code yet. People tell us “sleep when you can”. When you are the food machine,  it’s not really easy to take a nap. You have yourself basic needs like shower, eating, pooing that you want to do and seem as important as sleep. The windows to realize them are not many. The days after the sleepless nights are awful.

Body. As a woman, I naively thought my part of pain was over after my daughter was out. Well, no. Breastfeeding hurts. For real. It can be different from woman to woman but for me, it was a hell until I found a thing at the pharmacy. And breastfeeding is boring. You sit each time between 40 minutes and one hour and repeat this every two, two and a half hour. You cannot move. Reading is hard since you cannot hold the book and turn the pages. I watch series on my phone but it goes really quick to watch… But this babygirl needs food. And watching at her eating is sweet.

I’m also really thankful for my body and its strength to go through a birth without having so much trouble afterwards. Without telling in details, to give birth is the strongest I’ve ever done. Well, not me but my body. I didn’t planned the job, I just listened to my body’s instructions. It’s powerful but a little traumatic at the same time.

The days pass by really quick. It’s impossible to plan anything but we don’t need to so far. To meet people is almost too much for now. I use to cry several times a day when I look at her, realize that she is a mix from her fantastic father and me. I wonder how she will be when she grows up, if she will be a kind girl.

Luckily, I’m not alone in this. M is at home one more week from work and takes so good care of her. I’m really thankful he is her father.

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