Life is sometimes running faster than yourself

Thursday. It is so dark outside and it is still afternoon. I am almost feeling like I am living fourty lives at the same time.

I had a very productive evening yesterday in the kitchen. It was at least very effective to avoid to study. I made a västerbottenostpaj and bread. My first time baking bread and it was quite good for the breakfast this morning, except that I forgot the salt. I cannot think of everything always, but next time – because it will be a next time- I will think of it and it will be perfect then! Unfortunatly, I cannot post any picture from this computer, so you have to wait for an update from home a little later. I should be at home, but I am not. It was more practical to stay in town because I will go and listen to a conference about “how to make people listen to you”. My whole life I tried the hard way (read: shouting) and sometimes it works, and somtimes not at all. I hope that I will get some good advices tonight to make it more polite than shouting and more clever as well.

I had pretty hard days at work this week and without going into any details, I can just tell that I would have had a lots of use of the conference of tonight. It just happened once in my working life before this kind of missunderstanding and this is pretty hard to handle actually. Even if I wanted to make it all good, my body reacted quite strange, like shaking and everything and this lets me wonder about one thing: how would I react if I were in real danger? Would I act rational? Would I be paralized? Pretty strange.

Nowadays, when everything is so dark (snow, where are you?) I want to travel to the sun. I just have to admit that I cannot make it all: we buy an appartment in some weeks now and this will be where our money goes to. I need to find myself hobbies that are cheap and that I can have indoor at home. I should take more photografs. And I should run a little more too.

I promised myself to run this morning, but again, this was so dark, cold and dark and cold and dark and cold. You get it. I couldn’t get up. I dunno, maybe I need to be kind to my body. Since last Christmas, I am trying to loose the 4-5 kg I took last christmas and I am half way. 11 months and half way. This is how the curve will look like if I gain that much kg every Christmas:


In about 10 years, I will weight more than 100 kg. Nice plan, huh? …. NOT! Why? Because we are just every two years in France. The other year, we spend Christmas in Sweden and I have to admit that I don’t really like the food for Xmas here, this is always the same and not very raffinated things. So the curve would more look like this:


It would take 10 years longer for me to reach 100kg. Anyway, I don’t need to tell you that I don’t want to weight 100 kg. This is totally unnecessary. That’s why I try to run when I can and even because I want someday to run 10 km under 50 min, as I did before, when I was young (when I never needed anyone, and … all by myself, I don’t wanna be all by myself… sing along!)

OK, my head is totally dead and honestly, I am not looking forward to sit 2 hours to listen to someone, I am feeling so big in my pans that I feel like I cannot breathe and they will explode. Once again a consequence of gaining 4 kg last Xmas: my jeans are tight, really tight! every emoboy would envy me, if they are looking to feel unconfortable in a pair of jeans. Is that alowed to open the jeans while I am listening to the conference? Will anyone notice it? I hope not, because I really need to make it.

I will tell you tonight, when I am back home. And post some pics of the bread and also tell some words about my lovely horse. But for now, I am off!


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