PMS monster

It’s getting very obvious. I’m changed since I gave birth to my daughter. In many good ways, but there is one I can’t control. The PMS monster living in me is waking up once a month and taking over my whole personality. I get both very angry and very sad in the same day, observing myself from the outside and not understanding what’s happening. I loose totally control over myself and become an awful people to get around.

This is so strong and something I can’t handle. These PMS days, I would like to be at home and meet no one but at the same time, I need loving people around me, comforting me.

I hate this state because I’m not feeling myself. I use to wake up, not understanding why I’m already upset, while it happened nothing at all. I cannot work normally because I can’t get off this state of mind and I get very unpleasant as soon as I got some contradictions to deal with (which happens all the time). I feel like a bad colleague. At home, I get angry, impatient and no one knows how to get around with me. I feel like a very bad wife and mother.

On the outside, I’m like before, but on the inside, the monster is eating me up once a month.

If you ask me, the world will be gender neutral when women with hormones and cycles perturbations will be able to just do what the f*** they want during these aweful times without giving any explanation.

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