Stand by me

It has been a calm wednesday on the planet earth, Linköping city. I woke up around 9, staid in bed some hours more and made laundry around noon.

I spent the afternoon putting some order in my contact book and it was kind of a hercules work. I was also pretty astonished when i put all the b-days from the people i like in the calender, also, there are a lot! And this is cool!

I just had a friend on the phone and she was talking about one people that will come and visit her next week, that they did not had any contact in several years and suddently, pouf, they will meet each others. This is humble to forget the silence and meet as if nothing happened. Well, nothing did happen, but it seems strange in a way. or my little and humble case, i know people approx everywhere in the world, well France, Germany, Belgien, Finland and Sweden mostly, and i have very special friends for very special occasions. This is not like i talk to everyone everyday but most of the people i truly love know who i am and even if a lots of time went away, they still are a real joy to discuss with. From all and everything. Guys, work, health, music, books and bullshits. I love my friends and i may be too bad to tell it to them. To my familly too btw. But somehow, obvious things don’t need to be told, or? Like i don’t need to tell my poor mother who just broke her arm that i am very impressed by her new robocop attitude? It is obvious, a mother with steal in the arm kicks ass.

By the way, when i was little, i always wanted to break some bones in order to have a plaster on which everyone could write. It was a pretty common catch technic. Like you liked some guy and you wanted hi attention: EASY! break your leg and he will sign on your plaster and then you will live a long life full of love and children and houses and cars together. It happened for real to some girl friends of mine and when i am thinking of them now, i got mixed feelings. Yes, i won’t deny it, i am feeling pretty lonely so i envy their married situation but somehow, i had to see a little more of the world and what they had. The fact is that the only bones i ever broke on myself was the jaw and you don’t get any plaster for that. You just get the right to shut up during half a year and eat purée and soups the whole time. It did not help me to catch guys, plus that i was 7 but it helped me for sure to hate normal bicycle.

I need to buy a bicycle and it would be great if i had it tomorrow. I should try something funny tomorrow evening but it is quite far away, so i need to bike (or take the buss but everyone knows how much i love citybuses. I hate them, since always, they are scary and I almost die everytime i get into a citybuss, don’t ask me whay, it has always been so). So tomorrow: challenge number 2: get a bicycle. The challenge number one will be to get up early enough to meet a friend for lunch.

But for tonight, i am sipping a glas of red wine to give me some mood. I wrote myself a letter. Well 2 letters actually. One that i will not open before may 25th 2016 and the second one may 25th 2021. This was pretty hard: what do i want to read then? How do i want to be and above all: who? I wish someone with humble pride and loving people around. I also had some difficulties to find the right langage to write to myself. The words just came out in Swedish but at the end, i talked to me in french. This was both a happy moment and a very dramatical one. People who know me know what i think of been older and the second letter may be a little more axec on this. But well, not even sure that i will find them again when it will be time for opening!

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The song of the day is an hymn for the people who don’t resign and stick to other even if they don’t agree about everything. I wish i was one faithful friend, but i’m afraid i’m too proud for that. As least when my feelings got hurt. I think specially of you J, i did not make everything right, you neither but it is too much for now to pretend that we are friends. There is one
thing i could never give you my heart will never be your home. So what’s the matter with you? give me something new!

Stand by me, nobody knows the way it’s gonna be.
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