On the ground again

i thought i would have a long and nice sunday but instead, i got a boring one. Don’t ask me why, i dunno, but i was all unmotivated. I wanted also something really bad but it belonged (?) the category ‘things you cannot influence’ so i spent most of the day waiting for it to happen and it didn’t. I thought i would be smart and if i would go to bed and sleep and dream hard enough about this thing, that it would be true when i would wake up. So i went to bed at 6pm, felt asleept immediatly (for real also) and woke up for 15 min ago but it did not happen. I sooooo wanted to have a reaction from a special people but no, after having been really up last week, i am now sitting here in my bed, beginning a new week really down and asking myself what i will do now when i am so fit in the middle of the night. you should never put expectations that are unsaid to other people, it will just dissapoint you.