The big things in the little ones

Life is composed of big and little things. Often, i go around unhappy because i want to live big things, i want in 20 years, if i am still alive, be able to remember big things i did, be proud of myself and why not being an example for other people. Even if it’s for things that was not good to do.

But time flies and occasions are rare when i feel super happy about something and feel that my life has some right direction, that i am usefull. I often need some hints and tips that life can be wonderfull, even the little one i have.

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This is me on the picture. “Sospel 1983, il a plu 4 jours sur 6” wrote my mother in the back of the picture. Even if it rained that much during these vacations, it was a picture that made a friend of mine give me a hint of how magical life can be. He told me how crazy it was that he maybe was also talking his first step somewhere in Sweden, while i was doing it in France and 28 years later, we would sit on a soffa together in Eskilstuna and sharing a wonderfull evening. Yes, it is almost a miracle. Every step you take can give a good direction to your life. The little step i took when i went down this terrase in 1983 made me see, with the help of other eyes, that yes, where i am now it may be the right place for me. At least, i am searching for the right thing. Being with people i like, sharing peaceful moments, giving attention, living for the moment.

One week ago i decided to live with 3 words always in the head: “Humor, insight and long term”. It was a pretty
successfull week i just had. The same evening, i also thought that maybe it was my destiny to be single and to live by myself, that maybe i had to give something else to the society than my own children or family. In a way, i would like to be like other people in my age, planning for a life of driving kids to the training, staying home from work because kids are sick, spending valentine’s day with someone special,  woke up every morning near to someone you know you “have”, planning things together. But honestly, i am not sure that i want that. Yesterday during the lunch, a colleague was talking about all his dates and stuff and i asked him how he does to have so much dates. He replied to me “but i am sure you may have a lot you too?” and i just said spontaneously “no, i am just not interested”. 

I don’t think i am interested in meeting people in chain in order to build a familly. If some day familly it has to be, then i would like to give it a more romantic direction. Not a industrial dating beginning. And no, i am not interested in meeting people on the surface and then throwing them away if they don’t match my criterias. I want to meet people and learn to know them and
appreciate them for who they are. The consequence of that is that i will surely get a lot of good and trully friends. And this is at the end what is important to me. Not the “getting married and kids-volvo-dog” part.

This is what my thursday company showed me. That life can be wonderfull just when i look who is around me and if i just take time to really see people that care for me. I think he will belong to them from now too. To proove my friends my love for them, they got my almost absolute favo artist playing an old but nice song for a saturday morning: (notice how sweet he is while playing wrong ). Me <3 John & my friends.

I just ate breakfast and watched Skavlan. Two of the invited people were 2 skiiers. They had to meet each other at the olympic games in Nagano: the one is the winner of the gold medal and the  other one it the Kenyan skiier that arrived last at goal. The winner did wait for him to congratulate him at the goal line to show him how much respect he had for him. The big one saw the little one. It ended in a long friendship and btw, the skiier from Kenya gave the winner’s name to his baby. This is a very big thing. A friend of mine gave my name to her dotter. I felt very honoured when i heard that. So, today, saturday february 12th, i was sitting, watching TV through the internet and crying because there are people paying attention to others on this planet. I may be very sensitive, but i find it beautiful.

Yeah, life is just about that: to see and be seen.

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