First ride

This Saturday was a big day: first ride with my new bike and the stroller behind!

I wanted to test without child inside first so I drove to the recycling station to burry M’s not working coffee machine. It was all snowy on the bicycle lines. That and my lack of habits made this ride worth one hour at the gym! I’m very happy to have 8 gears,  it is needed when you start from still position. Then, you have to be careful when you turn, you need more space.

Too bad we had to return the vind protection (defect), Z cannot ride it for the moment (too windy and too cold for her without this protection). It would have been a perfect day for hot chocolate on the country side!

It will be a challenge to have 10 kg more to pull uphill to the preschool in one month, but I’ll take this as a training!



This is the name of my new ride. Z will soon go to preschool and it’s located far enough to make us rethinking our locomotion ways. It’s still useless to have a car (and too expensive)  but walking who kill us two hours a day. By bike, it’s half time, so I invested.

I bought the bicycle online, with the support of the shop through chat (we need to have it working with our new stroller and it requires some pieces).  The bike came qt our door, all fixed for the winter (they installed the spike tires on it). I completed the lights with extra and I hope been able to test it this weekend. I want to test the stroller without Z in it as well.

I broke my jaw in a bike accident when I was 7 so no need to say that I’m not a fan of bikes in fact. In our case now,we need it. Plus that we can make local vacations this summer since we won’t have the money at all to travel abroad this year. This year of parental leave did make quite a hole in our finances, so we need to get back on our feet again.

This big investment bellow has two locks. I hope it will be enough to make it stay in the family!


Picture borrowed here:

Old memory

Once every two of three nights, I dream of my horse. She left us many years ago now, but she was so present in my life, that she still is in my dreams and probably always will. Somehow, when I dream of her, she gives me confidence and makes me feel calm.

The picture bellow is one rarity taken one evening on our way back from a ride in the woods. At this time of the world, digital cameras were not that common and definitivly not while riding. I must have felt very confident to take my precious camera in the woods. Anyway. These two hears, turned to our future, was my most common landscape in the evenings, everyday of my life during a long time. It is to me a symbol of peace, serenity and calm. We used to ride up to the top of one of these mountains, where there was a natural sand paddock and we worked whatever was on the program at this moment. She was devoted to the exercices and we had a communication just through our thoughts, my weight, my legs. It was unbelievable to feel that I could transport my thoughts to her almost only with the power of a delicate change of my sitting position. We worked maybe 25-40 minutes up there and then, we would ride down the mountain back home in a calm rythm, looking at what was happening in the woods around. We knew every road, every tree, every stone of the forest and animals were not afraid of us. A paradise on earth. During these hours, nothing else existed for me and I would say that it saved me many teenager trouble.

When we got back home, I would look if everything was ok with her, I would clean her place, change her water and prepare her food. During this time, she would stay around – maybe most interested by the menu than anything else- and being curious about my doings. In the winter, she would sleep inside and during the summer, she prefered to be outside, free at night from the aggressions of the flies. She would come and have a kiss and then, I would go home, take my shower and sleep to be ready for another day to come.

To wake her up was not often an piece of cake: the lady was not a morning lady. She would get up, but would be very slow and liked to have her time to strech and look what was happening outside before to begin to move. The routine was quick in the morning, but the pleasure to meet her was huge.

I would go to school, always happy to learn some new things and then, I would do my homework either at school or in the bus in order to be able to ride directly when I came back home. I think this taught me how to be efficient and reach my goals. I really needed this moment of piece and reflexion on her back. Thank you Vasy for the time!

1998_Oreilles Vasy - Kopia

The day we sold our car

It was today. since we moved in the city, with everything close to us with a walk of 10 min (food, doctor, center, work, train station), M and I decided to get rid of our car. We bought it in march 2013, a little bit in an impuls, but it allowed us these particular things:

  • I got to drive to the country side once a week to ride horse
  • M had a freedom to drive car to Ljungby (his work when we were living in Linköping) during when the train was making some troubles or when he wanted to be flexible
  • We were able to move north when I got this new job. Without the possibility to live a little bit from busses and trains, we wouldn’t have found a place to live. Honestly, I don’t know how long it would have taken to find a place to live and … well, you get it.
  • We were able to make vacations here and there without too much planning.
  • We were able to move pretty cheap the second time this year.


One of its works: to give back a lots of boxes that were used in our first moving this year. for the second moving, it could countain 6 full boxes and a lots of other things on the top of them, which meant that we moved all the small things in 8 travels only. Pretty big car or pretty few things to move, you choose.

We drove about 30 000 km during the time we had the car. When you count the difference during the price we bought it and the price we sold it, the insurance, the services and others small things -and the car did not had any troubles-, the parking, the car costed us 3 500 kr a month. And I did not even count the price for the gas. How much taxi you ride for this money? Answer: a lot. And this was not even an expansive car… Despite of the price, this car made our lifes much more easier this summer, and regarding how intense it already was, it was a lot for us. I only had a car for this short period (30 months) and lived very well in Sweden without before, so it’s just a way of habbits, but it feels pretty strange to be “with my own feet again”. But it will work very well!

Bye bye Olga, we liked you for the services you gave us, but you were our most expensive child.

I have to admit

Ok, this is not getting better. Life is (luckily) going on strong and I don’t find neither the time nor the inspiration to write on here nowadays. In 2 weeks, I will be on vacations, so I promise (hum, did I ever have said this sentence before??) that I will write more on here. I actually plan to use my vacations to work on my stories but the first week will be with a focus on Xmas and hanging along with my familly.

This week, I have been working a lot, riding on monday as usual, running on tuesday morning in the dark (not as usual, but a good thing though) and working and working. On saturday, we bought our xmas tree and decorated it. We also made some xmas cookies and M made a wonderfull diner for us. We washed the car as well (nothing to do with xmas) and I made a puff pastry. It was kind of a delicate operation but I think I saved it. And today, I made thousand of köttbullar, ran 11km in 1h07 and sewed. M is on the train to Ljungby right now and I am waiting for the new episode of Blå ögon to be available in some minutes.

A propos politics (which I almost never discuss on here), it happened a strange thing last week in Sweden, something that hasn’t happened since 1958: there will be new elections in march. Ok, this is not maybe announced like a hammer, but we voted not later than in september and the new gouverment doesn’t succeed to vote a budget, so the prime minister called for new elections. I wonder what it will change, but it makes me think quite a bit.

Last thing for today: while I was sweing, I listened to one of my favorite band ever: the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I began to listen to them when I was a teenager and this is incredible how music can recall old memories or feelings. When I for exampel listen to Scar Tissue, I feel calm and good.

Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view

Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin’ all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view…

Blood loss in a bathroom stall
Southern girl with a scarlet drawl
Wave good-bye to ma and pa ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view

Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn’s sweet we call it fall
I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view…

Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view…




And mindfulness.

This is what i feel on monday evenings between 20 and 21, when I’m on a horses back. I have no space to think of something or someone else. It’s the horse and me through the dancing on 4 legs.

More people should try to spend time with an animal and try to achieve something without the voice giving orders. Use your body and feel the animals language is a subtil way to communicate. Animals are not trivial to understand and in a lots of way better for the soul than many stressed human beings.


Oh I am sorry, I’ve had no inspiration the past days. Or if I tell the truth: we had some inspiring visits at home and we have been busy and social.

Yesterday, I took up the horse riding again and it felt very good. I just hope being able to make it every week, with a calender at work without travel on mondays. I wish.

For the rest, the fall is coming. Somehow, I am longing to it. The colors, the sun and some rainy days to make what is to make inside. This is all grey outside right now though, just hope for a change.

For now, a little swe challenge is waiting for me, so let’s see how it goes and I hope for some more inspiration soon.

3år - Kopia


We have been working for 3 weeks now after the vacations and I cannot say that I made it as a rutine yet. Most of my collegues were still away, the phone did not ring at all, this was very unsual and different from last spring.

One thing that did come back pretty quick is that I am totally tired on the evenings and the mornings are difficult. Yesterday (friday), I was knocked out around 8 oclock so I went to bed and slept until 8 this morning. M had another rythm, so I let him sleep and put some order on our balcony.

This year, I used the balcony as a mini garden and since we went away one week while it was very hot in Sweden, a lots of things died, so it was really time to clean a little. I wouldn’t have tip 5 cents for the rosemary, it was all dry and seemed to be dead. I was wrong! This plant is like a phoenix and rised up all again. I put it in a smaller pot and I wish it will survive the winter as well!

The automn is coming with big steps and I wonder how I will use my free time, to make good things, both for me and my surroundings. First of all I will ride horse again. My monday evenings are from the 18th designed as the best evenings of the week that I have to spend by myself. then I want to run as well. I would also like to make a creativ activity, but I am not sure what. I have some ideas, I think I have to test.

For now, I will help M that came back from food shopping. Have a nice week end!

IMG_7592_2 - Kopia


Summer is fantastic: there is nothing to read on the news papper, nothing good on the radio, the weather is swedish (=10 degrees and rain) but we are off work! And there is this marvellous invention: podcast!! I am very hungry of good podcasts, with a preference for history, documentary, and people talking about their lifes or passions. I recently found this podcast about riding: ridpodden. This is in swedish though but wonderfully talked by Lisen Bratt Fredicson, who is a famous jumping rider, 2 times at the OS.

On the first episode, they are talking about hormanship. They killed a lots of ideas and I was happy to hear about that: don’t go and take your horse as he/she was a toy, it is not a teady bear either, don’t give food to your horse direct by your hand. Show your boundaries clearly and be consequent. Horses are not nice to each others when they are living together, they just know who is the boss and how they have to behave. The boss never gives food to a lower ranked horse. If you begin to give food with your hand to your horse, you will give contradictory signals to the animal: on one hand, you are lower ranked and on the other hand you are the boss because you want to decide. This is totally unecessary.

Respect is also another thing they explained. When you meet a stranger on the street, you don’t go and hug this person. This is the same thing with horses. When you meet them for the first time, don’t expect the horse to be your best friend at the first sight. If the horse don’t want to be close to you, respect it. Of course, the horse also has to respect you and if you need to make something with the horse right now, make it, but respect the fact that the horse maybe don’t want to be hugged.

They even talked about the fact that a human being is the only animal that is looking after reward. Other animals don’t need that tp be satisfied: if nothing wrong comes, then it’s all good. The exception is dogs/animals that are trained and if they do something good, the trainer gives them something to eat. This is not a natural behaviour, the dog could be happy as well even without food, just by looking at the trainer and seeing that he is satisfied with the trick. This is the same thing with horses and clapping. To clap them don’t give the horse any satisfaction. This is a random human sign to give reward, but this is not translated like that by a horse. If you clapp your horse randomly while riding, he/she will not understand what you are meaning. The voice is a much better help for that. On the other hand, you may clap your horse for example just once during a riding session just when you finished for the day and will just go down and dry. If you clap at this only moment, your horse will translate this like a “good for today, i can relax”-sign and it will be a way to communicate. This was what they told in the podcast and I like their idea. This is all about to be consequent. If the horse is making the mooves you want her/him to do, just give it back with your behaviour, your voice but clapping will not help.

That a horse has a mood that varies with the period of the day was something I wasn’t aware of until I got my own horse at home. This meant that I meet her every morning, lunch and evening and could see the difference. Actually, this is not that difficult to understand but I think that too much teenager forget this and transform their living horses in my little pony. A horse is still a horse. And because a horse won’t scream if something is hurtful or painful, you have a responsability to read your horse perfectly.

Anyway, this podcast is wonderful! Listen to it if you understand swedish and you’re interested in horses (pretty high level though in technicality)



This was my horse and me somewhen in 1999, so not yesterday…

Brown eyes

I have been pretty serious with my study today, but there are so much things left to read and think of that I give me a little break. This is still raining cats and dogs and M went to the gym. Courageous boyfriend!

Some days ago, I promised a little post about the big thing that happened 19 years ago. If you don’t mind, you get it in Swedish, maybe the beginning of a little secret and slow project of mine.

How it began 19 years ago

Himlen hade varit grå hela dagen. Jag hade inte sagt ett ord sedan ett tag tillbaka och visste inte vad jag skulle tycka. Nyfiken, hon hade närmat sig och hon tittade på mig med sina stora bruna ögon och undrade vad vi gjorde här. Mamma bröt isen: “Visst är hon fin? Jag tycker att hon ska bli din.” Det måste ha varit något fel med mina tolvåriga öron, tänkte jag. Jag måste ha hört dåligt. Hur kunde det bli så enkelt att Mamma plötsligt skulle säga de orden jag hade längtat efter i hela mitt liv. Hon skulle bli min! Varken hon eller jag fattade det. Hon skulle bli min bästa vän i så många år, dela med mig glädje och sorg, lyssna uppmärksamt när jag skulle behöva lätta mitt hjärta, gå med mig på äventyr, lära mig vem jag är och hon var den finaste sto i hela världen. Vasy.

And how it ended

Pappa ringde en mörk söndag kväll i november 2008. Det var ovanligt, han brukar prata med mig när Mamma har tömt hela sin påse, ställt fem gånger samma frågor och då tröttnar jag och frågar efter Pappa. Men denna gång hade han ringt. Jag kände direkt att något inte var normalt. Allvarligt. Jag satt mig på sängkanten och frågade “Vad har hänt?”. Han svarade bara med hennes namn. Då förstod jag att jag hade förlorat hon som betydde som mycket för mig. Allt såg bra ut på morgonen, men hon la sig och hennes hjärta slutade slå. Bara så där. Utan förvarning. Hon hade gjort sitt och nu var det dags för mig att klara mig själv. Då gjorde jag exakt samma sak som jag gör nu: jag grät. Jag grät och grät och grät. Jag kunde inte gå upp dagen efter, jag hade gråtit hela natten och spelade om i mitt huvudet filmen om vårt liv tillsammans. Jag kunde minnas så väl den eftermiddagen Mamma sa till mig “Visst är hon fin? Jag tycker att hon ska bli din.”. Nu var hon borta och jag kunde inget göra. Bara stå här och gråta.

 Back to the study before I fill the living room with tears.