Wo ist das Meer?

I use to read some blogs to distract/ inspire myself. One of them is the Swedish one hej hej vardag. The other day, the author wrote a list over things that parents of little kids get to hear and don’t help. You find the article (in Swedish)  here: http://blogg.amelia.se/hejhejvardag/2016/11/17/10-saker-man-aaaaaldrig-behover-saga-till-en-smabarnsforalder/ 

Here is my own list over things you hear as a pregnant woman and don’t want to hear:

– it was about the time! We thought you didn’t know how to make kids!

And you have no clue how many years and tears it took us to come to this point…
– oh what for a big belly do you have, sure it’s not twins? 

I’m not sure but the doctors are…
–I know you were pregnant already, I knew it (fill in with irrelevant date) 

Whouau! change job, you may be a good christal ball reader. At this point, I was just in a very bad mood and fat…
– you can say good bye to your sleep for at least five years

Really, do you think I can make an abortion now in week 30? I didn’t think of that! 
– you need to eat for two!

Of course… but the smell of the food makes me run faster than Usain Bolt to the toilets.
– it’s a girl or a boy? we don’t know. No??? How will you do to renovate the baby’s room? How will you do to choose a name?

We don’t renovate anything, the baby doesn’t care. We have three months in Sweden to choose the name anyway. 
– it’s planned for Christmas,  keep your legs crossed until it’s new year, your child will be smarter.

Statistics may say so, but I doubt that a week of “staying inside after due date” will change the intellectual predispositions of our baby. 
– make a little brother or sister quick after!

Nr one: you don’t know how long it took to make this one. Nr two: let me give birty to this one and we will see after.
– when I gave birth, it was (fill in with a free birthgiving story)

Good for you, but I don’t care, I don’t even know your surname. (this kind of detailled comments often come from people you don’t really know).
And the last: this is not a sentence but a gesture : the well known Hand-on-belly. no comment. 
Picture without relation with the text above: