The wheel

This is the first of my little project (you can read why here) and I owe you a good start.

One thing I noticed in life is that you cannot be good at everything. No one. A big step in your new life with no regrets is to accept that. This is not a problem though if you want to be good at something. It just asks you to prioriterize a little.

Another point with prioritizing is that I often ntice that I don’t have enough time for everything when I am working. My days are 24h long, I sleep 8h per night, work around 9h per day, so there are 7h left for all the rest. And even when I am on vacation or week end, if I let myself live as I feel, I don’t do much more.

But there is one thing that motivates me very much: to have goal. And since I don’t want to run after 5 rabbits at the same time, here again,I need to prioritize my goals.

Some years ago, a coach teached me a method to sort between things in my life. The wheel of lie. Nothing to do with the one of buddhism though. The wheel of life can also be described by a big cake that you cut in several pieces, representing the area of your life. It could be for example these ones: your health, your familly and partner, your friends, your place to live, your job, your private economy, your hobbies, your dreams.

wheel

 

You may change the categories if you want, or give them names that are more convenient to you. The only thing is that you have to cover your “whole” life.

The next step is to make a check about how every part of your cake is today and give them a grade, in comparison to the other parts of the cake. Let’s try with this example, inspired of my life, but not complete. I make it easy in order to give you the tip to begin your own wheel:

health I am very tired on friday evenings and don’t find the time or the energy to run as much as I would like. This part gets a 3/5.

familly and partner I am very happy with my M but don’t meet my familly as much as I would like, because I find the travels to France too expansive both in money and time. This part of my cake gets a 3/5

friends I don’t meet them as much as I would like too but they live far and are also busy with work and owns famillies. this part gets a 3,5/5.

place to live our current appartment is OK, not very warm in the winter but cheap rent and close to the city. This part of the cake gets a 4/5

job I am pretty happy with my job nowadays. This part gets a 5/5

private economy I am pretty happy with my economical situation, even if sometimes I wish I were very rich. This part gets a 4,5/5

hobbies oh, I wish I would read more, I would make more good pictures, I would go more to museum, and so on… This part gets a 2/5

dreams hum, I don’t really have a dream I can tell on here to write, so this part will not be evaluated for this exampel. This is not very important, you will understand the princip even without it.

wheel grade

Ok, so my lowest grade gets to hobbies and the highest to job and the other grades are in between. The point is: Am I satisfied with these grades? If the answer is yes, congratulations! You probably wouldn’t regret anything if you would die in 5 minutes! If the answer was more like hum, no, then you have a choice: make something to changre it or accept it.

Keep in mind that if you change anything in one part of your life, it will have consequences for the others. For my exampel, I could wish me more time for my hobbies instead of sleeping that much and I would work only 80% of my working time. The consequences could be that my health would be worse if I am tired and my economical situation would also go down. But maybe I can accept to earn less money, but not to be tired.

I you decide to change something, don’t make too ambitious changes, take it step by step, so that you feel able to make the changes. Decide even how long you will have to make the change. This has to be a realistical time laps. For exampel, if you want to change your work, maybe count with half a year or something but if you just want to take a walk five times a week to have a better health, begin tomorrow and make a check in one month or so. Ajust your ambitions to your life, this is what all is about.

The goals for the example above could be like that:

health no changes. I can live with a 3,5/5 for the moment, even if it is not close to the highest grade.

familly and partner I will try to call my familly once every two weeks (1), and e-mail pictures of our daily life (2), just to make them feel included in our lie, even if we are far away.

friends I will email a real story-telling e-mail to my good friends once a month (3). This is cheap and the hour of writting in the month will surely help me to feel close to my friends, even if we don’t meet as much as we would like to.

place to live no changes, I can deal with it.

job no changes. Why change something that is perfect so far?

private economy no changes, I can’t complain.

hobbies I will take at least 1 walk with my camera every week to take pictures (4). I can begin with this already tomorrow if I stop to sur on the internet that much, yeah! I will even try to talk to my boss to take a day off every two weeks (5) in order to read more or fix pictures. This may take some months or maybe I will get a no, depending of the current amount of work and my bosses decision. I will ask and let me 3 months to check this goal again.

So I have 5 goals:

1) call my familly every two weeks. Check: in 3 months.

2) send dail pictures to my familly. Check: in one month.

3) write story-telling e-mail to my closed friends once a month. Check: in 3 months.

4) take “pictures-walks” once a week. Check: next month.

5) ask my boss for the possibility to take off one day every two weeks. Check: in three months.

The 4 firsts goals will not cost much more than time, so I need to cut down the unnecessary internet time, the goal 5 should contribute to reach the goal 4 what goes on time, but it may affect my economicla situation: if I work less, I won’t earn that much money and maybe this could be a problem. The next step for me is to decide is this is ok or not. If it’s not ok to earn less money, then I have to accept that I won’t be able to read or take pictures as much as I want to. What I mean with that is that you most of the time have a choice to make and this is so much easier if you decide by yourself what is ok and what is not.

At the beginning, I thought that it was unsexy to put goals in my personal life. I have enough goals at work, so I wanted to life my private life free of stress, but after making the wheel once, I noticed that I was much more satisfied with having goals in my personal life in order to reach a better private lie (according to me). Somehow, I took control of my life and was much more able to let things that I did not want to/couldn’t change go and to do something with  motivation.

Some interesting facts about student of Harvard, taken in this blog: http://sidsavara.com/personal-productivity/why-3-of-harvard-mbas-make-ten-times-as-much-as-the-other-97-combined

 Why Do 3% of Harvard MBAs Make Ten Times as Much as the Other 97% Combined ?

The answer is a simple question: “Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?” In 1979, interviewers asked new graduates from the Harvard’s MBA Program and found that :

  • 84% had no specific goals at all
  • 13% had goals but they were not committed to paper
  • 3% had clear, written goals and plans to accomplish them

In 1989, the interviewers again interviewed the graduates of that class.  You can guess the results:

  • The 13% of the class who had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84 percent who had no goals at all.
  • Even more staggering – the three percent who had clear, written goals were earning, on average, ten times as much as the other 97 percent put together.

(Source:  from the book What They Don’t Teach You in the Harvard Business Schoolby Mark McCormack)

 

You may revisit your wheel regularly, and after some time, you will be surprised about the power of this tool: you will change your life for real and in the direction that you want it too! This is very powerfull!

In the part “No regret” of this blig, I will try to tell about small things that everyone could make to make a step in one direction. As I said, I am not an expert, I can just tell about my own life philosophy, which is, according to me, working very well since I wouldn’t regret anything if I would die in 5 minutes. Simple things, that everyone can do and that are cheap.

Keep on writting comments to the post “What would you regret if you would die in 5 minutes”, if will help me to write about things that you may want to read about!

Februari 2013

Februari began with a big chocolate cake, Miam! I even tried to read about modern philosophy but since I was often too tired on the evening, I did not come very far. The fact that I was tired is documented as well in this post for exampel. Resolution or this new year: to spend one hour a week reading smart things.

Worth to name it: we went to watch a movie at the cinema and it was “Django unchained”. I have a good memory of this film, but I would have been incapable to tell you when it was we saw it if I hven’t look in my blog..

We also watched “Waiting for sugar man” and it was much more better. I bought the album and I am listening to it very often, even now. I can’t understand why it was not more known by the time. To me is this music so much better than a lots from the Beatles or exampel.

You get a song for this. Read the text bellow (taken from here http://sugarman.org/) and admit that we still are there…

THIS IS NOT A SONG IT’S AN OUTBURST: OR THE ESTABLISHMENT BLUES

The mayor hides the crime rate
council woman hesitates

Public gets irate but forget the vote date

Weatherman complaining, predicted sun, it’s raining
Everyone’s protesting, boyfriend keeps suggesting
you’re not like all of the rest

Garbage ain’t collected, women ain’t protected
Politicians using, people they’re abusing
The mafia’s getting bigger, like pollution in the river
And you tell me that this is where it’s at

Woke up this morning with an ache in my head
I splashed on my clothes as I spilled out of bed
I opened the window to listen to the news
But all I heard was the Establishment’s Blues.

Gun sales are soaring, housewives find life boring
Divorce the only answer smoking causes cancer
This system’s gonna fall soon, to an angry young tune
And that’s a concrete cold fact

The pope digs population, freedom from taxation
Teeny Bops are uptight, drinking at a stoplight
Miniskirt is flirting I can’t stop so I’m hurting
Spinster sells her hopeless chest

Adultery plays the kitchen, bigot cops non-fiction
The little man gets shafted, sons and monies drafted
Living by a time piece, new war in the Far East
Can you pass the Rorschach test?

It’s a hassle it’s an educated guess.
Well, frankly I couldn’t care less.

 

Hans Rossling, who is a Swedish doctor and statisticien claims that if people who lead us and who vote don’t know things about the world we are living in, then, there is no chance to make good decisions and make the world a better place to live. He says in his winter speach on the swedish radio P1 that most of the people still believe that the world is as it was 30 years ago. But this is wrong obviously. I encourage you to watch this documentary, on gapminders website and compare it with what you think you know: http://www.gapminder.org/videos/dont-panic-the-facts-about-population/

After these words, I don’t need to tell you how my training month went in februari last year. This is so much less important than knowing things about the world that is around us!

What would you regret if you would die in 5 minutes?

I am having this idea and I would like to ask you, readers from all around the world, what you would regret if you would die in 5 minutes?

According to an article in the Guardian, the 5 most common regrets are following.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Do you agree? Do you have others regrets?

Please, write your regrets in a comment bellow, you can be anonymous and I promise to keep it for myself. This would help me a lot for the project I have in mind!

Januari 2013

This is pretty fashionable nowadays to make feed back from how the past year was. Pretty quickly, I am very happy of 2013 and I hope that 2014 will be as good.

We went to France to celebrate Xmas and came back on time to celebrate New Yers eve in Ljungby.

M moved in on the papper januari the 1st but for real in the middle of the month. It was really cold this day, but a very sunny day. It was all chaotical here in the flat and it took like 2 weeks to put some order in our common flat.

At the end of januari, I took a day off to make a special thing: I went to the french ambassy in Stockholm to reknew my identiti card. I remember well how crazy it felt to be off work in the middle of the week. It was cold though.

On the training side, I was running a little bit, playing squash once a week and made an experiment: to run a quick run ater having given blood. Not a good idea…

This was my januari 2013!

 

Sick and tired

Sorry that I have written so little the past days, but as I said, it was xmas here for us and we have been in M’s familly for some days. Yesterday, we spend the day buying food, studying, cooking some food and watching to 4400. (a boring TV-serie if you ask me but it was all right since I was getting sicker and M was not feeling good as well.)

Today, we had the visit och M’s brother and his familly and it was very cosy to eat lunch together here. I tried to make a new receipe and I think it was all OK for everyone.

The sun is already going to bed, the weather was all grey today too and it is not cold. It is a boring winter if you ask me but there is nothing to do.

I really don’t think that I will reach the 700K this year, I am not feeling so good, so I don’t want to force myself. too bad.

OK, back to the study for now!

lampa2 - Kopia

679

This is how much I ran this year so far. It might be difficult to make it until 700 this year though, I woke up with pain in the throat this morning. I will see how it will turn the coming days.

For now is studying on my program. And for now, this is more important that I focus on it actually. Exam soon, I am getting nervous!

trä - Kopia

The first day of the beginning of the end

Saturday 21st of december.

Here I am, sitting on my soffa and being troubled. I had a plan for how the day would be when I put myself in bed last night. And guess what? It did not turn out at all as I wanted. Some explanations: we had our yearly xmas party at work on thursday evening and lets face it: I am not 20 anymore. Yesterday was a hard day. I thought though that everything would be alright after a good night of sleep. I had it, it was wonderful, but I just couldn’t get up this morning when I heard the rain against the window. What is it for a thing: rain in Sweden for Xmas? hum.

Today is also the shortest day of the year and the grey clouds don’t help to put some luminosity inside here. I did clean though, and pack our things. M is already at the place we will celebrate Xmas and I am slowly noticing that I will have to go back and forth several times to fill the car with all what we wanted to take down. Well.

I am still very tired as well. Should it be like that for me at every xmas? That I feel totally unmotivated for this? Ah well, I just got to do what a woman gots to do.

Have a nice week end, I will try to write a little every day on here. No pic for the moment, I havn’t anything good for the moment. Btw, I will try to shot more during the holliday. Maybe you will have something new to watch.