Everyone is carrying an invisible bag,
and the rest goes: don’t forget it before you judge someone.
Best line for today and oh, how it makes me think! I know someone who is writting a nice blog about mostly decoration but also her everyday life, with much more talent and what i actually can do and it had been some days that i haven’t read it, so i just sat and read all the posts from the past days. This and watching an old man loosing his old wife made me cry. Somwhow, i am thankfull for this, because it seems that i am bathing in my own happyness, forgetting that people around maybe don’t have it as easy as me.
This friend did apparently live an hell, and there is nothing to see on her face at work, she is carrying her invisible bag with nobless and humility. I feel like an idiot now, i would like to make somehting for her, but i am not sure i can do anything. To read the happenings on her blog makes me like a voyeur, like i read a lots of things about her but i am not sure she would have told it to me in the real life. I need to respect that, but oh, how i feel sad for her and would like to help…
And this old man, he was with his wife at the Londons emergency hospital, she felt down with a stroke and never woke up. And he was so sad not able to say a proper good bye to her, but at the same time thankful to have lived almost 70 yers with her. I felt sad for him too. With so many good nights they must have told each other, he did not even had the chance to say it one single more and last time.
It is it getting old: Getting aware of the lost you may live? The people around you that you love and that may dissapear just like that? the hard things you have to go through just to survive, as if you needed to prove someone that you’re worth living? This makes me schizophrene. On one hand: who do i need to proove something? If there is someone up there, he/she’d better get fired because the results are not very magnifical. If live is so hard for everyone, why should we put a meaning in insignificant things like writting this blog, getting a haircut, have nice clothes, having fun at work, and so on? We should all live on the edge and hoping for the best, like less effort, less loss?
On the other hand, this is exactly because everything can have a quick stop whenever that i would like to make what i like the most NOW. I want to give my life a chance and i feel some gold around me. Not that i want to be rich, but in this times of crisis, this is good to be economical. Like save the little you have and enjoy it. But at the same time, don’t give up your dreams and explore the directions that may be interesting to you. Give up all the bullshits and spend your time with what you feel is worth. The definition of that may be different for everyone. Of course. Sorry, yes, i hate an encyclopedy about common sense today and you have a post of general things that everyone knows, except me, because i need to invent everything by myself.
Like No african dance for me, but tango with M, feeling him leading me in an infernal and romantic show.
Like no more early morning at work, but waking up and staying in bed a little bit because M is lying by my side.
Like no booking everything in my calender even friends meeting, but calling someone spontaneously and find something nice to do
Like no more eating bad food, but eating what i want to eat.
Like no more playing tetris in my bed, but reading all the books i began and never took the time to finish even though i liked them
Like no more rush when i’m impatient, but more questions about why i wanted to rush.
Like no more trying to fit in the swedish model at work but acting like i feel it’s right.
Like no more judging people by the first look, but waiting for them to show me who they are.
Like no more going by people without asking them how they feel, but caring for the one i like and also the one i like less btw.
Like no more politics about “what i don’t like, i throw it up” with people, but much more “did you really give him/her a chance?”
Like no more regrets because i should have gone to bed earlier, but much more enjoyment about the things i’ve done late in the evening
and new from today:
Like no more walking like a monkey, but much more flying like a bird.
E, i hope you will be fine soon.
M, i hope you will move in soon.
And all the other i don’t name here, be ready, a train can hide another one!
picture borrowed here
Wo ist das Meer? 