Life abroad and relationships

Hello people!

it has been a long and interesting day for me on earth today. It began with an early morning and a train on time. Then, a
long walk in high heels and a successfull day with different project managers and a travel back home with the train without big trouble. Nice!

I also got a nice mail today, from someone telling me nice things about this 7 years old blog. I write on here without any pretention, it is only a way for me to share some pictures and moments and now that i am getting old, to remember what i’ve done in my little life. This was very touching actually to get this kind of message today! Thanks M!

It made me think of relationships and how my life abroad did change most of them. I recently lost one of my best friends. No, the person is still living and well i hope, it is just that our relationship took an end somehow. This is exactly because this “somehow” is hard to define that is makes me sad. And also because i am not the kind of person just to let it go. I got an implicit message that i have to let her be from now, but i think of it all the time, i always want to write but it would only make the things worse. That’s one thing Sweden taught me: to be more quiet, but i can tell you right now that it is not natural to me and i really have to think twice before to grab my phone and call or to write. I hate when i read things like “if someone takes moren energy to you than he/she gives, break up!”, it’s as if relationships were something you buy and when you’re not happy anymore, you just buy a new one. That doesn’t work. But obviously, it doesn’t work either to make it last through mails and digital things.

I’ve got plenty of friends, like everywhere. I am blessed by the god of friends, who gave me a lot of them. Fact. But dear lord, why can’t you make it last too? Is every relationship a mirror of your soul? Like if you don’t give any time to it, you won’t get anything back anymore and this will happen slowly, so as you may feel the difference with a bitter feeling that yes, you did not do your work to make it live.

You may think that i talk bullshit or incoherent foreign langage. It may be true so i give you a song for tonight and i will feel sorry for my-lazy-self in my bed instead, with 1q84, that i just began this morning and that sounds exciting.

I could have treated you better
but you couldn’t have treated me worse
but it’s he who laughs last
is he who cries first

Sometimes I feel I know strangers
better than I know my friends
why must a beginning
be the means to an end

The stones from my enemies
these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive
the roses from my friends

When the last word has been spoken
and we’ve beared witness to the final setting sun
all that shall remain is a token
of what we’ve said and done

When all we’ve had has been forsaken
distant church bells no longer ring
that’s the sound of a heart taken
and the story of tears from a king

This may be the last time I see you
forgive me for holding you close
this may be the last time that I see you
so of this moment I will make the most

This may be the last time I see you
but if you keep me in your heart
together we shall be eternal
if you believe
we shall never part