She said NO!

and it was a good thing. Noes are good things sometimes. My hairdresser said no to my question: “can you cut my hair short?”. She said it would be better to have it long and that we would fix a nice color for this time. And the color went like that:

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what do you think?

I am right now watching “boss undercover” which is about big bosses in big companies getting “down” in the hierarchy and working without that the others know who is this person. I think every boss in big companies should do this. Me the first when it will be my turn.

The song of the day, is from a belgian singer that has the same hair color than i do now:

Health

ok. I am not traeting my running program well. wait, which training program? the one consisting of buying runners magazine and waiting lazy that the weather will be warmer and lighter? ah ok. So i put my energy in good food for the moment, Vitamins and no sugar, fett or pizza. Miam! I will also be restrictiv with alcohol. So!

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Insight

Oh you my friends, i don’t want you to be jealous but once again, it was a mervellous week end for me on planet earth. And this week end began on thursday evening, which was a good thing. I got kind of destroid at work, you know this 10% of all your relations destroying for the 90% others… well, the travell down to Småland and the hugs from M helped me to relax.

After a nice breakfast downtown on friday morning, M went to work and i went shopping, as a good housewife has to do. I bought food, alcohol and Mojo. At home, it was a carrousel of vinyl records while sipping tea and going from one couche to another with a book or Mojo. Nice sunny day, but a waaaaay too cold for my little french me.

This picture was is from Mojo:

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Nice to notice that Blondinbella has her copy in the artistic world, but somehow, it sounds so wrong.

In the same number of Mojo, it was also this picture:

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Also: focus. Two of my favo musicians evaaaar (Damon Albarn and Flea) making a record with another apparently splendid artist and this will go out exactly 2 days before my bday?!?! You may now know what i am preparing my self: porn for my ears for the beginning of my life with an age beginning with 3!

The rest of the week end was social, cold (outside, poor trees with their ice-skirts) and this morning, i did somehting i haven’t done in ages: i took a bath. Lovely!

me wants snow!

and this one:

 

Perfect Snowball Maker

 

I want winter, cold winter and sunny days on a snowy landscape. I want to make a snowangel. I want to skii, just to feel how it hurts my legs and how i need to go inside and drink a warm
chocolate.

 

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a normal week end in january

M came and visited me this week end in Linköping. We went to the cinema and watched “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” and it was actually not at all what i imagined. I won’t tell more for the people that want to see it.

picture borrowed here

I also finished to read the book “Vips så blev det liv” which contents a lot of humour. It was not very intellectual litterature but it was funny, meaning enough for me in these times when i don’t have that much energy when i go to bed (place where i read 95% of the time).

I also had a reflexion in my head when i came back from the trainstation when M left to Småland. Life is composed of work, friends, relationships, family, hobbies, health, place to live mostly. The past years, i felt like most of the things were ok, except the boifriend part. I tried to convinced myself that it was not my fault (like Elisabeth Gilbert does when it goes about creativity) but somehow, i got some help last summer with that and i am really happy, when i let my ghosts in the cave. So, work is going to change for some better soon, i feel more available for my friends with phonecalls and some week ends planned in februari and mars, same for my family with which i feel i am more able to have good talks since i am less concerned about my own problems, i am enjoying squash, reading, watching movies, making things most f the time, so hobby: check. Place to live: ah well, it is ok as long as i have some discipline. But here you are: health. I should work on it and take my runs as planned but it is going slowly. I took a run last thrusday and a reaction to that is now a hurting throat.

SOOOO

I need to feel better. My plan is to make a mini detox cure in order to loose these christmas kilograms on my ass and then, when my throat will feel better (it has been so since one month or so), i should be able to make it.

No need to say that the snow that felt today and the minus degrees do not really help to motivate myself for some run. But so it will be! yeah!

And trust. I am on the edge sometimes to trust people around me and i need to focus on this: now that my life is back on track, i need to be nice to people around me and trust them. What could happen: to be dissapointed? ah well, not my loss – hum, well yes but ok then-

To be in love

Today was my last day at work for 2012. I did not know it when I woke up this morning, this is something I decided during the coffee break this afternoon. I looked the train timetable, rang M and booked a train to the south for tonight. I am currently sitting in it and this is nice! M seemed surprised, maybe disturbed but it will be all good. I almost cried of happiness when I saw his name on my door and the +1 he left on a picture of it. This is getting so true, I almost can’t believe it! When I was a girl, I never thought that love was for me, I always saw me as a lonely and powerful woman. Not that the two things are uncompatible but now, I am in live and who knows where it will lead us? The Maya’s predicted the end if the world tonight and let me tell you: if the end of the world means to get to meet M, then I can die happy!

Where

Where are we going? Which road are we taking? People in Corea vote for a dictators daughter, young people insult each other on social networks, American youth shoots kids with automatic guns, the snow disappears as fast as it felt from the sky, and so on. The news are never happy. I wonder how it was when I was kid, was the world so much serious? I am somehow happy that I grew up in a time where the control was less, the freedom bigger and the arena to test social  relationship smaller. We were not nicer to each other as kids are today but the consequences if our acts and sayings were
so little in comparison. I wonder how it will be for my kids. I almost wish they would grow up in the woods, animals seem so less dangerous than human beings with technologies in the hand or the pocket… For now, this is my last night (ever?) as single living. Wait, no there is tomorrow too. Then, every night will be spent with M, except for exceptions. Ahah this last was a good sentence!

I am wondering though, I hope I will be a good girlfriend, that it will be easy to live with me, that M will think that it is ok if I go to bed around 20 some days of the week, that we will be happy together. For this last part, I am not so worried: my heart explodes of love when I think of him. Oh….

Living room

I am sitting i m y living room for the first time since 10 days. Incredible. I don’t need all this space it seems!

Ok, so i’ve done a thing for the third time in my life: i quit my job. This was a short visit this time, 8 months. It was not planned to be that short but sometimes, you have to follow your feelings. The colleagues were very nice and the job itself ok, but i learnt that i need some things to feel confortable at work. You know, maybe a banality, but you spend so much time at work that it has to feel right and i am from this kind of blessed people that writes 2 letters and gets the 2 jobs so i thought i had to find a better place for me to stay.

The most difficult part in this was surely to say no to a very good offer (the other one was even better of course). I realized that there are few times in life when you are get to make a so beautiful choice. So that’s why i was writing everywhere and at anytime recently that i am blessed. Because i am. Plus that i am very thankful of all the chances that are given to me too.

Well. Another done for tomorrow: i will take a run with some colleagues. Hum, i am not really sure on how the chocolate i am eating now while watching Ozbourne singing as a 20-years old guy will help me tomorrow… I feel that i need to begin again to run, september is coming soon. But for my defense, i have had a cold and i am feeling really better since only a couple of days.

Soon!!

If everything goes like planned, it was the last sunday that i go to the train station with M, next week end he will spend in Linköping, it will be as sambo. Cohabitation says wikipedia, i have to admit that i am a little bit nervous, it was a long time ago since i shared my living place with someone and i am now use to let my socks on the floor (and some other clothes, well, ok i admit, the half warderobe). Anyway, i feel, no better, i K N O W that i will be perfect! With every minute i spend with him, i feel a step more in love. Crazy, it seems that there is no limit for how much you can love someone. I say that, but i am sure that everyone here knew it before that i even thought of that. Sorry my ex, no one of you ever cam to the little toe of M. This is huge!

We had a film week end.Nothing more to do when the weather balances between -20 to +1 and snow smelting! We watched inglorious basterds, wall street 1 and 2 and tonight, i watched “happy end”, a swedish movie about drama in a normal middle swedish town. Secrets, pain and women abuses like too much even in film for the 5 coming decades.