Summertime

Not sure i did not post this before, but this is a nice summer song, perfect for tonight when the bad weather doesn’t want to come and there is plenty of things to think of, a heart to feed with thoughts.

It’s out there summertime bring me joy

‘Cause I can’t seem to find it no more
It’s never them but you are so defending them
I just know, but I can’t change
After all this time I still don’t know
It hasn’t been what I hoped for
So here am I, my restless soul, yeah

Do you feel alone
All by yourself
Or do you need something more
Do you feel alone
All by yourself
Or do you need something more
Than this

It’s out there summertime bring me joy
’Cause I can’t seem to fight it no more
It’s never them but you are so caressing them
And I just know but I can’t change
After all this time I still don’t know
It hasn’t been what I hoped for
So here am I, I rest my soul, yeah

In

Sluta klaga på mörkret, dra ut huvudet ur röven i stället.

Oh i love you Mark Levengood! You made my day. You and your humor and the long run in the forest. Today was also a strange day, which began with a bycicle which did not want to go to work (sick...) but i convinced it with a hard spark and it worked good. I forgot my code to enter at work, re-sick. But then, after some little downs, i promised myself that nothing would stop me to take a long run tonight.

Even if the sky was beginning to become all black, even if the temperature is above 25 degrees, even if i am tired and ready to find stupid excuses, i put my running shoes on and ran to the wood. I was only smiling and laughting while listening to Sommarprat with Mark Levengood talking there. The people i met must have think i was crazy but Mark has a lot of humor, really and he is a good story teller.

I find a wood in Hackefors and there were several ways marked there. I choose the 2,9km since i already ran a little more than 4km there and i had to run back home too. This was a lovely little wood with a lots of up and downhills, so K, be ready, this will be the perfect training for the 29th of august! I ran 11km in 63 minutes, this is ok for the temperature.

Life is short. As you can see on the picture bellow. But there is always new things coming up. As you can see on the picture bellow. Mark is pretty right with his affirmation (the first line of this text, meaning, “instead of complaining about he dark, take your head off your ass”). This is good for me to read it a day like today or like all the days from this week. I am not sure what i did wrong, but i am paying the price of something and to laugh tonight was benefic. No need to complain, do something about it instead! (I talk to myself of course)

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Now, off to my shower and after some housewife activities, i will spend the night with Karl-Ove.

Nerveuse, pas coole

Il y a des jours, où tout ne vas pas pour le mieux, y a des jours où tout part en coui***.

This is approximatively so i feel since i got up this morning. A big cloud of “half of what you will do today will go wrong“. And so it was. The whole day. Like i had milk and chocolate for the hot chocolate of the breakfast but i did not had any butter to put on my bred. I found only one sock of each color when i dressed up. I printed only one side of the 2 of documents at work. I got only one washmachine to start at a time, so i had to wait twice as long tonight for laundry. Like today, i have only half a chance.

Yesterday was a busy day though. Work and then after work. It begins to become an habbit but this time it was a colleague from Etuna in visit in Östergötland who staid and ate dinner with me. It was hot (the temperature!) and he drove home around 20. The weather was so fine that i found it ridiculous to go home and stay inside, so i jumped into my running shoes and took me out for a run, even if i had a big hamburger and 2 glases of wine in the stomach. I ran my little round and i can tell you that all what i had in my stomach wanted to go outside too, the wrong way. I needed one minute more than usuak for this round but honestly, to make it was the stupidiest i did in ages. Poor body. Benefit of that: i slept very good!

Oh, it was also some nice phone calls today with ex colleagues, and even a lunch with some of them. I also got some post from my previous job and among it, a pappers with an article about what i did some years ago at this previous job. It was kind of nice, even if i did not like that much the picture of me there.

On my way from work (i walked there since my bicycle is strejking again), i discovered a cherrytree. I love cherries, but i am not sure i would try to eat these ones. City cherries.

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Well. When i arrived at home, i decided to fixc this with my bike. So i took the tools from my motorbike, carried my bike in my flat and put it on the back. Now, let’s talk baby!

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I did not even succeed in taking off the wheel. I told you, fail today. So i made laundry, googled hard and found (finally, because i have googles like a dog to find some information about these kind of brakes) a papper about the common failures with this kind of brakes. And i fixed it! yeah!

Time now to hold the clothes i have down in the laundry room and to take my bycicle outside and to drink a glas of rosé and to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. I would fail again and i can’t take it. You know, it is not just the fact to fail that irritates me, but also to have to hang out with myself. I feel that the summer will be long and my whole life too if i get this
feeling that i am an annoying and boring and irritating person already at the age of 29. Pray for me readers.

While i was trying to fix my bycicle, i listened to “sommarpratar” on the Swedish Radio and this time, it was Timbuktu talking. He told the story about how he lost a friend in a car accident (where he himself also was) and how it helped him after a while to see life differently. I agree with him, as long as you can, live. Even with a broken ankle (poor little sis :( ). But to live
alone and for oneself is something i am very tired of. I am touching some beautiful things with one finger, feel that it could be really good but i can’t take other people in my dreams. They have to will to come in. I had a talk today with a colleague about negotiation. We talked on how artificial it is when you use technics to convince someone of something. I agree there too. But if these persuasions here and there would just be hints that lead to someting beautiful, how pervers would it be to use them? Well, i am pretty bad at negociating, i play with too open cards all the time. I don’t like to lie or to hold an information, because i think the people i talk with are smart enough to weight pros and contras and if they make a choice, then i have to respect it, even if i don’t like it. And this is the critical part…

The song of the day will be about how to tell something to someone. France Gall doesn’t know unfortunatly…

Make your own experiences

I learnt a lots of things today and the biggest lesson is: when you’re too tired, stay in bed. 

It began this morning when the clock rang. In a way, it was good, i was having a bad dream, but in another way, i liked pretty much this new rythm that i got the 3 previous mornings, like the body get used to routines more easily than you may think!

The office was half empty of people since the big vacation wave began. I got the day when i will have to sign the final pappers for the selling of my flat in Eskilstuna and i wanted to take a day off for that when i realized that 3 of the 5 vacationdays i asked last week were not approuved. Like oh ze noes… Even if i know that it may be a misstake of the system, it was not really cheering me up.

I failed at staying at work until 16.00 today. The sun was properly shining and i was thinking that i would take a long run to a wood tonight, but while i was cycling home, i thought that a motorbike ride would be better. When i drove out of Linköping, i was re-living the 30 degrees in Hamburg one year ago when i should take the train. It was pretty ridiculous to try to drive in the city at the moment when people are living work, but well, i was tired today.

I drove all around the Roxen lake and it was a nice pretty little road. An enjoyable ride if i wouldn’t have felt that tired. I was really about to stay and take a sleep but it was only 70 km after all, so i drove the whole in one piece. I was a little bit bored too and i think this is more a general feeling of being with myself. I got used to company it seems and i need to reeducate myself or else i will think that the summer is killing me.

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When i drove home, i had to park mister BMW in its little house. This little house has been repainted today so it was quite difficult to get in the house without getting some brown paint on us. But i managed this. The thing i did not manage was to think that the floor is slipery inside this little house so i gently put mister BMW on its side and i thank the man who built the shelves inside, because instead of falling on the boxer motor, the lamp did lean on the shelves and i manage to put the whole mister BMW up again, even if i will feel it in my arms and back tomorrow for sure. I always wondered why the little wind buble was not symetrical. Now i know!

I had anyway some plans to take my run after that but after this little incident, i decided that i will do nothing more today than eat and read and go to bed. This is the weeks version of OnOff and tomorrow is still another day.

The song of the day, all given: Le lundi, on reste au lit!

3 days off + nice company = win

It seems that i was not the only one being away living my real life this week end. Few readers but you’re all forgiven. Real life owns life online!

Ok, so on thursday, after reading the 53% taxes, i drove my way down to Småland and the weather was all grey, rainy. I noticed that i drove there too for about one year ago and it was the same sky threatening.

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The gods allowed us to take a wonderfull walk in the night, and of course, my camera was in the flat. The river was so still and so black, like a precious mirror. The night was not so dark, you know Sweden has quite light nights at this period of the year, but i really regret not having my camera at this moment. This was also funny to look at all the different houses and this little town is pretty for that: there are a lots of different houses and even if all the details are maybe not here for a function, it makes the whole beautiful.

Midsommar Eve begann with a nice breakfast. Nothing better than tea in the morning and when i posted this pic on FB, i got quite creative comments…

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This is nothing else than yogurth and home made müssli. The wasa in the background was just here to disturb the people trying to guess what it was. When i think of it now, it was the first time i shared room with a Wasa paket in Sweden. Maybe i am not acclimated yet…

We took the direction of Bolmsö, drove along the lake Bolmen, it woke up some memories from a long time ago but it was winter time, so really different impressions of this lake this time. The evening had to be spent in a cabin, close enough from the beach to bath but far enough to avoid been thrown in the water. Perfect compromise!

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The sun came back exactly right on time when we had to begin with the barbecue. It was not a traditional Midsommar if you wondered, but who cares when the mood is good?

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Somehow, i can’t publish the pics that were taken later that night and the day after. Don’t ask me why, i won’t tell, but mum, i behaved ok i think.

Today was a really sunny day and we went to a little pretty lake (was there 2006 too, nice to see places again) to eat a
barbecue and to rest. Yeah, week ends like that are eaxhausting. Around the lake, we saw some rests of Midsommar too.

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I would so G E R N have staid there my whole life, listening to the birds and talking with someone i really appreciate, the sun was warming us just enough but i have so much adultgrades now that i need to work tomorrow morning too. So i drove back home, listening to the music very loud in the car and got pretty irritated about the people driving out there today. Like non sense the whole way.

I left the car at the parking lot and took a walk home. Linköping was so wonderfull tonight, i think i am slowly falling in love. And when i saw my first own rose on my balcony, i almost wanted to cry. Well, don’t think i am too sensitive, but little things are big sometimes and i think i will remember this Midsommar a long time. It is actually priceless to spend time with people that know you for years ago. You don’t need to retell the story, to put yourself in a frame, it is just about to be yourself and to open yourself. The beautiful in that is that these people you know and still are around won’t mess with your heart. You can let it go and don’t be scared. These 3 days were for me better than any vacations, just a beautiful way to let it be. Sometimes, it is good no to think too much. Thank you M!

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The song of the day will be one that i heard on the radio and which is stucked in my head. It just makes me think “oh partyyyyy!” and if i was not that lazy, i would make one soon at my place.

Du, jag slänger ner en nyckel ifrån fönstret i köket 
jag bor fyra trappor upp och du är välkommen in 
Massa skor i hela hallen, folk vid fläkten som röker 
Det är fest hos mig i kväll och hela världen är min

Oooh, ooh sång på sång 
Det ekar över hela staden 
Åh, nått stort på gång 
För det är kö från gatan upp till hallen

Och grannarna har klagat sedan kvart över tio 
Nu är alla i mitt kök och jag är alldeles paj 
Spelar pappas skiva ifrån 69 
De sjunger “cosa vuol dir sona una donna ormai 
O mare nero, o mare nero, o mare ne” 
Sänker volymen, låter alla sjunga med 
Kan inte tänka, jag står bara här och ler

Dunkande hjärtan klockan kvart över fem 
Imma på rutorna men ingen går hem 
Flackande blickar upp och ner och igen, åh 
Ingen vet ifall det verkligen hänt 
Ingen vet ifall det verkligen hänt 
Imma på rutorna men ingen går hem, åh 
Dunkande hjärtan klockan kvart över fem 
Ingen vet ifall det verkligen hänt

53%

this is the amount of taxes that i pay from the money i got from the left vacation days from my previous work. It hurts somehow that more than the half of it doesn’t go in my pocket. So for you saving vacations days: bad transaction. I was not doing it in purpose, i was just trying to finish my previous job with some moral (not leaving a big mess behind me) but it seems that the swedish finance minister doesn’t think that morality should be rewarded. At least it is not worht any the half of what you should have earned if you had staid at home for some vacation instead. Well.

The good point is that i will give some more much money in form of taxes to the state: i finally sold my flat in Eskilstuna!!! Some man born in 58 will move in august the 1st, so it is good for me! Finally a big weight less, and honetly, even if i tried not to think of it, it was stressing me to have these dubble appartments to pay and so. It was not cheap i tell you, but as an old friend of mine said “it is good sometimes to come back to the basics and know how you really use your money”. I felt a little as a student again.

The other good point is that i knew it. I knew that this time, the flat would be gone. Don’t ask me why, but maybe i should change work and start a critall ball reading company or so.

I did not had the time to write yesterday because i was sitting in some pub with my new colleagues and it was cool. No Mum, i am not becoming an alcoholist, this time, it was a music quizz and all about culture. The thing i was most proud of (not sure i should write it on here though) was that i K N E W when Justin Timberlake realesed “sexy back”. Yeah, it was in 2006. Sometimes it is good to know things that are totally irrelevant. Who will remember who is Justin Timberlake in 20 years? Well, the girls born in the late 70’s, beginning 80’s who began to google him every day when he was single again. As if someone had a chance! He is after cougar lika Madonna, everyine knows it…

OK, time for me to pack my stuff, it is Midsommar over here and perfect weather with it. Read: tropical rain. But who cares when the company is nice?

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This was our meal last year, when my friend J and i celebrated Midsommar together in a little camping in Småland. After that, i drove motorbike to South Europe for 7 weeks or so it was cool, but it seems so far away now!! I remember i was
a litle nervous to drive by myself so long, but when i arrived in Hamburg, sweated like a pigg there and spent the night with cool and funny people, then i was afraid for nothing.

It will be different this year, but i am pretty excited to live a new variation. I had following Midsommar so far:

2006

2007

2008

2009

Glad Midsommar!!!

+4seconds

I ran my little round this morning and it was a dissapointment: +4 seconds… Well, i was pretty tired, it was early (so early that when i came back home, i had to use the key to open the outdoor…) and i was not really motivated. I think the weather is taking me down. It is all grey everywhere and i want my bed. Now. Well, not now now, but very soon.

Life is hard

and so i am. Just see by yourself.

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I was at my first afterwork of the week tonight. Monday. Yes. You got it!

The sad thing is that my little sister went away this morning. It has been a erally pleasant week end with her here and i don’treally know when it will be the next time we will meet, but hopefully soon.

For now, i will be a nice girl, go to bed and load for a run tomorrow morning before the work. The song of the day was all given:

FRA or SWE?

Hard to decide on witch side i wanted to be today. Frenchy had problem with the weather in Stockholm, we had too in Linköping.

Christophe Lemaitre avait sans conteste le record de France du 200 m dans les jambes ce dimanche

picture borrowed there

It has been raining cats and dogs (also, not real animals, only liters and liters of rain) since we woek up this morning/lunchtime. We wanted to take a turistwalk in Linköping today but the umbrella did restrict our views quite a lot.

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We are not that strict. We just changed our plans and turned it into a cosy afternoon at home with nice dinner, homemade strawberries cheesecake, film and Ligretto. And this time, I just W O N!! Won like in wonderfull. The sister is not making as much noices as yesterday night, i tell you. Or maybe she was just letting me winning in order to sleep inside tonight, who knows?

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A blues is quite good for a rainy day:

Quand tu me diras que tu me vois plus
Que tu m’as trop vu, que tu peux plus me voir
Quand tu me diras que tu me sens plus
Que je sens trop fort que je pue la mort
Quand tu me diras tous ces trucs-là
Moi j’entendrai rien, je serai déjà loin

Dans la musique qui m’emporte et qui me prend dans ses bras
La musique qui me réchauffe la tripe et qui pleure avec moi

Quand tu me diras que je te fais peur
Quand tu me diras que ta vie elle est ailleurs
Quand tu me diras que l’amour est un
Jeu d’enfants et que t’as plus quinze ans
Quand tu me diras tous ces trucs là
Moi j’entendrai rien je serai déjà loin

Dans la musique qui m’emporte et qui me prend dans ses bras
La musique qui me réchauffe la tripe et qui pleure avec moi

Quand tu me diras tous ces trucs-là
Moi j’entendrai rien
Tout ce que tu me dis c’est des conneries
Moi je penserai qu’à te prendre la main
Elle sera toute froide mais ça fait rien
Fait rien
Moi je serai parti, je serai déjà loin

Dans la musique qui m’emporte et qui me prend dans ses bras
La musique qui me réchauffe la tripe et qui pleure avec moi ….

Wicked game

 

We spent the whole evening and night, my sis and i to try to find the name of the singel from the song of the day. We heard that in a restaurant where we had a nice dinner and a live jazz
band was playing. Enjoy your sunday!

The world was on fire

No one could save me but you. 
Strange what desire will make foolish people do 
I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you 
And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you 

No, I don’t want to fall in love 
This love is only gonna break your heart
With you  

What a wicked game you play 
To make me feel this way 
What a wicked thing to do 
To let me dream of you 
What a wicked thing to say 
You never felt this way 
What a wicked thing to do 
To make me dream of you 
And I don’t wanna fall in love 
This love is only gonna break your heart