Wo ist das Meer?

I was packing my bags, being really nervous about the fact that i was moving to a country where i did not know the langage,
going to live with a familly i did not know, meeting an important person without knowing how it would turn. I also felt free from responsabilities, with a long break to come and no idea about where i would be one year later.

I remember i bought a new jeans for the occasion, and ate some chocolate during my last evening in France. It was  ummer, warm and to leave was making me smile at the same time.

5 years… I would never have thought i would still be in Sweden after all this time. If you’d ask me, i thought i would have return back to Germany or France, i wouldn’t have given 5 cents for me being able to learn swedish and being able to take care of 2 kids. I would never have thought that i could find work, that i would have bought an appartment, that i would have run a halfmarathon. On another hand, i had some wishes to finally get together again for real with this swede. I think it was the thing making me the most nervous: how would it feel when meeting again?

Well, 5 years later i can tell that i grew old. I love what i have now. I met exceptional people and lost some others. But did i change that much? I don’t know. I think i grew more conscious of some things, experienced a lot but i still have the same issues with the same guy. I did not go a step farther in such a long time, this is depressing in a way. It is like my life is locked. I need to find the key and open it and let the bird fly out.

How will my life be in 5 years? Still in Sweden? In Eskilstuna? Some progress? Who will be around me? What will be my new memories? Will i still write my life on here? Will i have more readers or always the 5 same faithfull ones? Will i have done something big that make me proud of myself? Will i have made people around me happy?

Let’s live and learn!