5 years ago…

I was packing my bags, being really nervous about the fact that i was moving to a country where i did not know the langage,
going to live with a familly i did not know, meeting an important person without knowing how it would turn. I also felt free from responsabilities, with a long break to come and no idea about where i would be one year later.

I remember i bought a new jeans for the occasion, and ate some chocolate during my last evening in France. It was  ummer, warm and to leave was making me smile at the same time.

5 years… I would never have thought i would still be in Sweden after all this time. If you’d ask me, i thought i would have return back to Germany or France, i wouldn’t have given 5 cents for me being able to learn swedish and being able to take care of 2 kids. I would never have thought that i could find work, that i would have bought an appartment, that i would have run a halfmarathon. On another hand, i had some wishes to finally get together again for real with this swede. I think it was the thing making me the most nervous: how would it feel when meeting again?

Well, 5 years later i can tell that i grew old. I love what i have now. I met exceptional people and lost some others. But did i change that much? I don’t know. I think i grew more conscious of some things, experienced a lot but i still have the same issues with the same guy. I did not go a step farther in such a long time, this is depressing in a way. It is like my life is locked. I need to find the key and open it and let the bird fly out.

How will my life be in 5 years? Still in Sweden? In Eskilstuna? Some progress? Who will be around me? What will be my new memories? Will i still write my life on here? Will i have more readers or always the 5 same faithfull ones? Will i have done something big that make me proud of myself? Will i have made people around me happy?

Let’s live and learn!

you couldn’t care less

Oh my heart can’t carry much more
It’s really, really aching and sore
My heart don’t care anymore
I really can’t bear more
My hands don’t work like before
I shiver and I scrape at your door
My heart can’t carry much more
But you couldn’t care less
Could you

Your face don’t look like before
It’s really not like yours anymore
Your eyes don’t like me no more
They quiver and they shift to the floor
My heart don’t beat like before
It’s never been this slow
No my blood don’t flow anymore
And you couldn’t care less
Could you

Could we stop and sleep for a spell
We can turn this ditch into a well
And send that old devil back to hell
But we don’t care do we

Baby let’s stop and sleep for a spell
We can turn this ditch into a well
And send that old devil back to hell
Your back’s not straight like before
You really shouldn’t carry me no more
I’m much too heavy for you
I’m really quite a mess, yes
We just don’t care anymore
We’re crooked and were cut to the core
We’re just not there anymore
But we really don’t care do we
No, we couldn’t care less
We couldn’t care less
Could we?

a week-end in Stockholm

I am back home after a really nice week end i Stockholm.

It began on friday, with Popaganda festival after a pizza loading in Väster Haninge. I heard Markus Krunegård, Belle and Sebastian and Robyn. Really nice summer evening, quite cold at the end, but lovely to listen to music and see the stars.




On saturday, we went to the fotografiska museet and watched exhibitions:Lennart Nilsson and his foetus pictures, Vee Speers and Annie Leibovitz’s ones. I was really surprised by the size and the quality of this museum and i will surely give it another shot later! Plus there is a beautiful view rfom the cafe…



After that, we went shop a little, took another coffee, but this time in the sun and went to the östasiatiska museet to watch the chinese warriors from Quin and Hans. It was a litle dissapointing. When we went out, the sun was still shining and some luftballons were flying over our heads.


After a dinner at the Creperie, i took the subway direction the party on Kungsholmen. Really nice evening and night with a lot of new people. Today, quite hard to be fit, but we took a long walk around Kungsholmen in the sun. It is really nice to take the time to discover clever people. It gives energy and makes one rethink about life. Even it Mc donalds was a must today, i feel stronger and have some issues to deal with, but it will be ok, someone asked me the right questions. Thanks!

Now, i will use the last hours of the week end to sleep in front of a movie.


I tried to watch this movie tonight and i stopped before the end because it was boring. Maybe i am not in the mood to cry in front of an american production tonight, but no. Sorry.